(Closed) Frustrating, much?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

OH "has he proposed yet" is the worst question in the world! My Fiance and I are in a LDR and it was well over 3 years before he proposed. Everytime I came back, I was asked that question. It made me want to punch them!!

Unfortunately, you can’t say "I need  a ring on my finger soon…" it will probably just delay your engagement. You have to learn (oh its so hard) to be happy with where you are right now! My Fiance had the ring for 6 months and he saw me every month from the time he bought the ring until he gave it to me… At first I got mad at the end of every trip together. Like, why hasn’t he done it!? Then I stopped talking about it. I didn’t say ring. I didn’t say the word wedding.. it was removed from my vocabulary & voila! He proposed the next trip AFTER i stopped talking about it.

Post # 5
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Even though you don’t have the ring there is nothing stopping you from doing some wedding research! That way when things are "official" you will at the very least have an idea of what you want and may even know exactly what you want when it comes to the big things.

Post # 6
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

So what you’re saying is that he doesn’t seem to be very motivated by anything then?

That’s obviously just how he is. You can’t change him & you have to take him as is– especially if you want to marry. He will never change into a planner & you will probably be "prompting" him to do things for the rest of your married life.

Does he live in a big city & has no use for a DL? I couldn’t function if I couldn’t drive 😛 

Post # 8
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Aww ((hugs))… I have a touch of OCD, seriously. I get anxiety over stuff like that.

I’m sure he loves you greatly, especially if you’ve been in a LDR for this long! It’s hard work, but I also know at this point in a LDR that you get tired of being so far apart. It becomes tiresome not having your boyfriend around…

He definitely needs to gain some independence before you marry. Honestly, from what you’ve said, he just doesn’t sound like he’s ready to get married.

I really don’t want to rain on your parade! It’s just, I don’t think the proposal is the biggest issue here. He needs to figure out what he wants from his life & how he should go about doing it. I mean– I know he’s not a planner, but he needs a general idea of where he would like to go. If he’s been putting off driving for 16 years, he could easily put off marriage for another 13… get my drift?

Post # 10
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Why can’t you guys live together? Or even closer? I understand you guys need to work, but what do you do if you don’t mind me asking? Is it work assignments that requires you to be in your specific cities or could you find a job out in his area? Or is it hard to find work right now where you live? Why do you need to wait until 2010?  

Seriously Alexa, I feel for you!! This is rough… its just an additional stress that your LDR doesn’t need!

Post # 11
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

when the conversation comes up about living together…tell you don’t want to untill you are married. He should get the hint. And keep to this. otherwise, he is getting the milk for free.

i know not all couples wait for sex until marriage but I think when they do, they have a tendency to get hitched more quickly. I believe the same goes for living together. 

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