(Closed) Frustrating Traditions

posted 13 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
61 posts
Worker bee

I know she is your Maid/Matron of Honor and all…and that is super annoying on her part to have such negative responses to everything you say…but maybe stop telling her wedding details!

When she asks why you aren’t talking about the wedding details anymore to her, tell her it’s because she had such negative responses in the past and you wanted to be excited about your wedding planning and not judged on every choice you made!

I feel your pain…I so do!

Post # 4
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021

Let me guess, your sister is older, isn’t she?  I went through the exact same thing and it is so frustrating.

Do your best to ingore her input or jsut nod along, then do what you want anyway.  It’s your wedding!  Many of these so-called traditions are really outdated, and in the end, who is really looking that closely?  Have you ever been to two weddings that were identical? 

Everyone personalizes their wedding somehow, and it doesn’t sound like you are doing anything outrageously different.  Cut the things you don’t want to do, and add the elements that make you happy.  Your sister is just being overly critical.

For the record, I have never heard that it was a MUST to offer cigars or to pass out cake to the ladies first and I’ve read A LOT of bridal magazines.  Good luck!

Post # 5
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I second that I have never heard about the cigars.  If you guys are concurrently announcing the birth of your child, sure – although that is also a tradition that is going by the wayside as fewer people smoke.  And I don’t know about your venue, but you can’t light up in very many places anymore.  Besides, decent cigars are pretty spendy.

But I sense that you’re not just frustrated about the cigars! You actually do get to decide what "traditions" you will and won’t incorporate.  You don’t have to pass out cake.  You don’t even have to have cake.  However, your sister is probably just opinionated, and trying to help, and not being very tactful.  Maybe you can have a little talk with her, and let her know that its frustrating and hurtful when she second-guesses your decisions.  Tell her that you value her help and her suggestions, but you are going to be making the decisions.  Trust me, you will actually have to have versions of this talk several times.  Good luck, and remember that every one of us have someone like your sister making us crazy almost every day of this process!

Post # 6
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i learned a while ago not to say anything anymore to my cousin – she’s just a hater and is crabby pants. she just always had an opinion and no matter what i told her it was "Ugh – why are you doing that?"

trust me, nobody really "cares" about our weddings anyway – nobody but us brides-to-be; and honestly, we dont creally are about each other’s – we just care about our own…

why do you think when someone asks "What do you think about xyz?" most of the responses are about when they are doing at their own reception or ceremony, but not really answering the initial question???  but it’s cool – we’re all excited about our weddings and want to share…

if i’m asked directly, then sure, i divulge, but mostly, nobody really "cares" and i’m cool with it – it’s actually better for me – i dont have to hear the multitude of opinions that I dont really care about!! haha

i’ve been to a wedding whre they had a cigar roller, but i wouldnt say it’s a tradition…

do the best you can to tune her out and just go on with your bad self! heeheee

happy planning!  

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