(Closed) Frustration about uncertainty

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Tunacupcakes: You let your SO know, that you wouldn’t move to Boston or anywhere with him unless you were engaged first. He stated that he wants to marry you, but when you asked him whether you should look at schools in Boston he stated it’s up to you. If you are dead set on not moving until a proposal happens, then I would suggest you look at schools in your area and ones that are the best in your field regardless in that match up with your SO’s or not. Even though he has stated that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you he hasn’t given you any clear indication of proposing. I would put the proposal on the back burner and focus on getting my education. You are already planning on following him across the world and he can’t even tell you all the schools he is applying to.  

Post # 4
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@7mom: agreed.  You told him your requirements for moving to be with him.  Go ahead and look for schools near your home.  If he wants you to come with him, and/or realizes later he needs to propose to get you to be with him, he’ll have to make a deccision… Telling you to decide yourself as putting all the responsibility back onto you. 

Post # 6
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d wait and then transfer….this way you aren’t playing the “which school are we getting into” game. 

Out of state tuition is a bitch, too, dude!!! Save yourself some much needed dough. Your BS in California will NOT be cheap.

Post # 8
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Transferring can be very messy business, so I would avoid that if possible.  Why don’t you sit down and discuss between the two of you, where you’d like to be.  I find it to be one sided that he gets to pick where he goes and you’re pretty much forced to follow or stay behind.  You’re both entering programs, so it’s not like one of you is already established and can’t leave their program.  I also find it odd that he said “it’s up to you”, for some reason I expected a more enthusiastic answer like “I’d really like it if you were with me, but of course you can do what you want” kind of thing.


Are you starting a BS from the bottom up (4 yr program) or transferring with your AA credits and starting as a 3rd yr? 


Post # 10
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I would apply to schools where you live now and a few schools in Boston in case he proposes in time to choose to go to one of those. Transferring is a pain because not all credits will transfer and things like that.  I would also sit him down and tell him to give you a list of schools he’s applying to. I don’t see why he wouldn’t tell you, so it’s probably because he just doesn’t know yet. And out of state tuition isn’t a huge factor for most Boston schools since the majority of them are private and have ridiculous tuitions.

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