Frustration with Lack of RSVPS

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    Yep. A lot of guests thought RSVPing was optional. We’re just calling/emailing people to remind them. I chalk it up as part of what to expect when you’re dealing with a whole bunch of people. Unfortunately, people tend to not be timely.

    Post # 3
    2757 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    When is your RSVP deadline date? A lot of people will return them right before the deadline. 

    Post # 4
    6657 posts
    Bee Keeper

    sapphire27 :  Yup.

    OP–A lot of people are just plain deadline-oriented. Unless your RSVP deadline is tomorrow or has passed relax a bit. Despite many retailers’ best efforts a lot of people can’t imagine December right now. 

    Post # 5
    25 posts
    • Wedding: December 2018

    Yes, what I’ve discovered is that people really, really suck at RSVPing.  And I did paperless post, so I can see you opened and read my invitation right after I sent it, people!  I was especially impatient because our venue has limited space and my fiance did not account for all this extended family he has in our original guest list, so we couldn’t include everyone in our first round of invitations.

    Post # 6
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    thattallweirdo :  When is your wedding and when is your deadline for RSVPs?

    We did online RSVP’s, thinking it’d be easier than asking people to send us snail mail… but, nope. We still had to text people and let them know if they didn’t RSVP we’d take that as a no and they wouldn’t be allowed in if they showed up (in nicer words).


    Post # 7
    12130 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    When is your reply by date? Wedding invitations are supposed to go out 6-8 weeks ahead. If you sent yours considerably earlier than that, people may not be capable of telling you about legitimate conflicts, for example work, school, or babysitting. 

    It’s true that RSVPs themselves are traditionally supposed to be sent ASAP, and believe it or not RSVP cards themselves are historically disapproved, but in modern practice it’s customary to make the reply date no earlier than a month ahead.

    It’s always courteous to answer as soon as you know either way but if your date is too early, chances are people put the invitations aside and assumed based on the wedding date that they have plenty of time. 

    But with  a wedding date in December you have plenty of time.  If necessary you and your fiancé can contact people after the reply date. 

    Post # 8
    4500 posts
    Honey bee

    Lots of people wait until the deadline under any circumstances.

    Your profile says December.  My guess is since they’ve gone out so early, people are trying to solidify their holiday plans first.  With my large blended family, we often get together on the weekends leading up to the actual holidays and the holiday itself is reserved for your household only instead of traveling all in one day.  It is just easier that way.  So even if your wedding is early December instead of mid-to-late December, people may be busy and trying to negotiate all their plans.  I know my work and some other organizations I am affiliated with do their holiday parties earlier in the month as well.  It is just a very busy month with lots of negotiating of time and events.

    So, you wait until a day or two after the deadline passes and then you start making phone calls.  It is just a fact of life when planning parties, not just weddings.

    Post # 10
    47 posts

    When is the wedding & when is the reply date? 


    Post # 11
    6657 posts
    Bee Keeper

    thattallweirdo :  Your deadline is more than three weeks away! This is perfectly normal. Once November 8th has passed you may begin following up with anyone who has not responded. 

    Post # 12
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    thattallweirdo :  If your deadline is 11/8 I wouldn’t start to freak out yet, a lot of people wait till the last minute. And if you’re having a December wedding (according to your profile) people might still be figuring out their plans since that’s a busy month.


    Post # 13
    47190 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Often family doesn’t think they need to respond ” Of course we’ll be there”! They are wrong.

    If your wedding is anywhere close to Christmas, other people are probably still organizing their family plans and simply aren’t able to commit. 

    Unfortunately, ettiquette is simply not as importnant to many people these days. We see examples of that from couples every day online. If i’s not importnant to them, they choose to ignore good etiquette.

    Post # 14
    9444 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Trust me, tons of people will wait until the last minute to send them in. I would not be concerned at all yet.

    Post # 15
    1005 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    If you want to put your anxiety to ease, start contacting the distant relatives you invited and anyone that needs to travel. Just check in with their plans to attend your wedding, not a hard yes/no for their RSVP. You’ll start to get an idea of what people are going to to do.

    Next week, contact your closer family and give a gentle nudge to your college friends (they are the worst RSVP offenders). Get in touch with anyone who has kids, pregnant guests and those still in school.

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