- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I just want to vent out all that’s bottle inside me. I just want everyone to know that we’re paying for the whole wedding.
1) From the very beginning my parents manipulated me and my Fiance so badly. Why? Because first my parents told me that if I just get the marriage paper and get it signed and go to the City Hall to register it then they’ll accept it
Anger: Never trust what they say!
2) My parents started to add more and more details about adding wedding rings and having BIG WEDDING!
Anger: See what I mean? Adding more stress and manipulation
3) The wedding that my Fiance and I wanted really small and private wedding roughly 30ppl (immediate family members and close friends)
Anger: My asian parents wanted to invite all their friends and relatives so it ended up being 55ppl, which pushes the whole wedding into more money issue and its’ no longer what my Fiance and I wanted. Even though I said “NO” 3 times.
4) Asian tradition. My Fiance and I wanted really simple western wedding
Anger: My parents want to add the tea ceremony and my maid of honor (my sister) gets all patrioic about it and lecturing me that we should include it in.
Resolution: Yes I added it into my wedding.
5) I had a fit with my maid of honor because she kept lecturing about how I should honor tradition. On top of that, my sister’s best friend is my bridesmaid.This is where it starts to get interesting.
Anger: I told her to back off and I want to keep things my way because it’s our wedding.
6) She ignore me and then I start to deal with the bridesmaid. We fought over the seating plan because I drew up how I wanted the seating to be and I stand by it, but she kept picking at me and lecturing about “tradition this and that”
Anger: It wouldn’t be this difficult if my parents didn’t add their friends…*sigh*…so I refuse to change the seating plan and then the bridesmaid start using pychology on me to change my mind but I still refuse and I told her “NO” I am keeping it that way.
7) Then I start planning the schedule with my Fiance. We asked everyone’s input and I kept modifying over and over to include everyone’s suggestions.
Anger: It’s never good enough for anyone. The only good part was my FI’s side of family had a few suggestions and I didn’t mind because they don’t demand as much as my side of family and friends. Not only that, I feel embrassed when my FI’s mom asked him or I whose planning the wedding.
8) Oh then there’s my bridal shower. Yes, it’s suppose to be a surprise and my bridesmaid is planning it for me. Then I found out from one of my friend who told me the location.
Anger: She picked a chocolate place(similiar to starbucks) to gather the bridal shower. I am a bit offended because she doesn’t realize my friends and my mom are older age and that isn’t really the place to be hanging out for a bridal shower. I know what my friends and I will enjoy so I change it and the bridesmaid of course is a bit offended too. But she picked it out of her conveneice, not mine. If she really wanted to throw a good shower then she should ask around not just decide herself.
8) Finally it’s getting near to my wedding now. Only 4 weeks left. Problem is my bridesmaid wanting to be so invovle with the planning of the schedule that she starts to complicate everything and my planning just disappeared.
Anger: I asked for her advice on the planning but MY Fiance AND I should get a saying and decide on the final draft. But she argues with me and says she did “1 WEDDING, and how many I did?” I told her off by saying this is my wedding so I want to learn and you suppose to learn from mistakes. She wouldn’t back off. Then she starts to get aggressive when we met the lady at my Venue who will coordinate her staff during the day of our wedding. My bridesmaid starts question one after another and when the lady tries to explain to her to simplfy it a bit, my bridesmaid refuse and she didn’t want her advice. Even though the lady said she has 36 years of experiences, my bridesmaid just blew her off. I feel very offended and embrassed when my bridesmaid acts like a kid. Then when my Fiance and I gives her suggestions, she dismiss it and turns to her suggestions. We told her to basically don’t make complicated than it has to. But she just kept making it all complicated.
9) My dilemma right now is I have 4 weeks left and I want to start directing towards hiring a professional coordinator. But my problem is if I should do that or just stick with the bridesmaid?