Frustrations with DH about his vehicle

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 31
10594 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

frustratedwithdh2018 :  

I would so buy tickets to that trip to the dealership.  Just to clarify, your husband believes he can take his now used and significantly depreciated vehicle to a dealer, trade the truck in and get into a used truck with lower payments?

That is just so not going to happen.  I’m going to presume this is a buy, rather than a lease.  They’ll take his trade alright, but the most probable outcome is that he’ll be giving them a fair chunk of change.  

At this point, he is completely upside down, ie he owes far more than the car is worth.  Does the contract have an early payoff penalty?

The, our intrepid consumer is of the belief that he will simply turn around and buy himself a used truck.  For cheaper payments.  That’s probably happened three times in recorded history.  

Interest rates are higher on used cars, and the terms are shorter.

The absolute worst thing he could to would be to go see the dealer.  Your husband will have to pay the difference between what he owes and the truck’s current fair market value.  It’s current value is going to fall far short of the amount he owes. Check Kelly Blue Book and NADA. The guide that dealers’ use for appraising cars is a closely guarded mystery, but it’s probably cloesest to NAD.

If he wants out, sell the truck at Carmax.  They pay on the spot, you don’t have to be buying another vehicle.  And their payouts have always been higher than we anticipated, we’ve sold a number of cars that way, including dh’s late aunt’s.

More likely than not, you’ll be paying for the gap.  But, you’ll be rid of your very expensive albatross.

Then hubby can buy himself a vehicle that makes sense.  May I suggest that you go with him to the dealer from now on.

Post # 32
11 posts

Personally, if his goal is to find a cheaper vehicle and it be more practical, I don’t think there’s any reason to be upset. However, I wouldn’t like his reaction to you. 

Post # 33
291 posts
Helper bee

Unless you live in a place where you get a tax credit for vehicle trade in, it won’t be worth it. Selling privately always fetches more money than a dealer. 

What is your husband doing that actually requires a 2500? Very few people I know need a truck that size as 1500s are more than capable for the average person. Even if the payments end up lower he’s going to eat a ridiculous amount of depreciation on the first truck, in the long run you’ll likely be spending more. 

Post # 34
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

frustratedwithdh2018 :  I really think it’s silly to upgrade to a 3/4 ton when he has a 1/2 ton already. Does he work in construction, excavating, etc? I actually work in construction and own my own excavating business (all in my name, but my husband does it with me). I only use our spare F-350 v10 (1 ton) for hauling our mini excavator around. Otherwise anything larger than a 1500 for daily driving is completely impractical. It sounds like he thinks the 1500 is wimpy (which is silly because those new trucks are overpriced and way fancier than they should be). I think he should keep what he has and pay it off, and not go into more debt and get something even more expensive. He’s being impractical. Unfortunately, even though he’s “asked” for your input, it really sounds like he asked with the hope you’d agree with him. It seems like he is going to do what he wants here, which is really not cool and it is a disrespect to you in the marriage that he’s not considering your feelings and advice about it all. I’m sorry bee 😞 my advice is to let him make this choice- as long as your name isn’t on the financing and payments- and let it affect him and let him decide. I would even suggest you say “I know you’ll do the right thing and make the right decision.” And let him choose what is best for the relationship. 

Post # 35
1038 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure why you are eager to want to be on the lean and title of the truck right now, OP.  He’s using mom’s credit to make an astronomically expensive (for your income) vehicle more “affordable.”  If he additionally extended his loan to be 5 or 6 years….you really want no part of that.  It will show as debt on your credit score, and neither of you will be outright owning that vehicle until he pays it off. So whether mom or you are co-signers, the bank owns his truck.  Once it or the truck is paid off and the title is actually issued to you, there’s no reason he can’t go have his mom removed from the title and you added. Maybe I’m misunderstanding your financial situation and you inherited a family home that is owned outright by you, regularly tow horse trailers, and you make solid 6 figure salaries each so this was a perfectly fine financial idea for you two.  But I don’t see any way out of it now through a trade in program, and I don’t see a real reason you should want to be added to those documents yet.

You sound really bothered by his mom thing, and I can see why you would want to create an entirely isolated family with just him as a married man. He probably took your comment the way he did because he knows he cannot truly easily afford this truck, and you’ve probably said something about him being dependent on his mother’s signature regarding the truck in the past. What sort of activities do you engage in regularly in your lifestyle that requires such a heavy duty vehicle as the trade in? Is it a valid want/need or is just a preference of the two of you?

Seriously though, I can’t think of a good reason you’d want to be a co-signer on his loan or on his vehicle. On his title, maybe? But why would you want to co-sign a debt he has that you don’t even agree with? 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors