(Closed) FSIL (a BM) hates the dress we picked. What do I do now?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

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Laurenplusalex:  Is she typically a “short” texter? I know several people like this, they either never respond to direct question or respond with the simple, “yea” or “ok”. It drives me crazy, but that’s just how they tend to communicate. Maybe in person she has a different opinion that isn’t being conveyed properly through text.

Post # 32
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

She can suck it up and shut the hell up. She isn’t the bride, not her call.  1 day she can wear a dress she doesn’t care for. 

Post # 35
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Considering her lack of manners in responding to you, I wouldn’t really worry. She can hate if she must. She can also suck it up.

Post # 36
Member
3902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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Laurenplusalex:  I have yet to be in a bridesmaids dress that I liked. I think the dress is super cute, so I would just not worry about it. Unless she comes right out and gives you a resonable argument about why she hates the dress, you should just plan on using that dress. It’s hard to please everyone and she should be grown up enough to just swallow her feelings and wear the dress with a smile.

Post # 37
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Eh, my maid of honor pretty much hates the bridesmaid dress I chose, but she’s sucking it up and dealing with it albeit she likes to tease me by dramatically sighing every time we talk about the dress.  You can’t please everyone. 

Post # 38
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Laurenplusalex:  Def have her try it on– but consider having the girls in the same color bue different dresses?  I know you said you wanted them all in the same dress…..but are you willing to budge on this?

The MOST important thing to me was making sure each girl was totally comfortable in thier dress– not just that they look good- but that they were comfortable on a personal level.  They all had the same color, but got to choose thier own dress.  

I know people say she only has to wear it for one day, but she also has to PAY for it.

Not going to lie, I would resent having to pay for a dress I absolutely hated.  I know it’s hard to make everyone happy with one dress…..

I will say that while I don’t think the dress you choose is unattractive (I think the girl in the photo looks nice), the straps on it would bum me out (but maybe that’s because strapless bras and I don’t get along well at all)

Post # 40
Member
4424 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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Laurenplusalex:  She’ll get over it, plain and simple. If you love it and it’s the dress that works best, then that’s it. I sucked up wearing a truly awful limeish green Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for a friend’s wedding in June that made me look like friggin’ Tinker Bell (and not in a good way), but did she know this? No, because I sucked it up. 

I like the simplicity of that dress! I wish I could have worn something like that!

Post # 41
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Laurenplusalex:   I went and looked at the picture again– just out of curiosity….maybe I am missing something….would they just wear a regular bra and let the straps show (thats what the girl in the pics looks like)….or?  This has nothing to do with your original concern- I’m literally just curious LOL

Post # 43
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I think maybe some tone is getting lost in translation through text. I can definitely see where you’re coming from, but I didn’t necessarily think she was being rude.  you said she is a bit younger, and texting is pretty much how my younger cousins seem to communicate these days.  They definitely send shorter texts back and forth since they just do it SO much. I have a feeling that when you talk to her in person, you’ll feel a lot better.

And besides, wearing a bridesmaid dress you’re not crazy about happens – it’s even a bit of a right of passage 😉 i’ve certainly had brides pick out dresses that i wasn’t a fan of at ALL, but no biggie-not my day, so you suck it up and wear it.  I’m sure she will too.

That’s a lovely dress, though! Congrats! I’d be happy if a bride picked that out for me

Post # 44
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Laurenplusalex: If you decide to go with it (which you should!) I would say:

“FSIL thank you for your suggestion! It was really cute. But there were so many varying tastes/ages/people to consider I had to go with the one that works for the group and will look great at the wedding.  I really SO SO appreciate you going with the flow and being my bridesmaid, and wearing the dress even though I know it doesnt thrill a fashionista like you. YOU ARE THE BEST”

 

 

Post # 45
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

This way- you are saying- sorry but thats the dress period. In a sweet way that acknowledges her feelings and kisses her ass a bit.

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