(Closed) FSIL also getting married–(long)–feeling bad.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Uh, yes you’re getting WAY too involved in this girl’s planning and finances. It’s absolutely none of your business.

Post # 4
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In My Humble Opinion it might be best going forth to stop comparing your wedding to hers. Some women dream of their dress and could care less about the rest of the details in their wedding. She might be one of them. And it is quite possible that she is looking for somethign in particualr adn jsut hasn’t found it yet. I think the only way you ar egoing to get through this is if you stop thinking about cost regarding her wedding and jsut worry about your own. I do agree that it seems like you are comparing thigns by cost and not personalities. Some women do wear a ballgown to a beach wedding too 🙂

Post # 5
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You’re not a bad person, but I don’t really understand it. Why do you care whether she buys her dress before picking out other things?  Not everyone cares that much about whether the dress “matches” the theme or the venue – they just want a dress they love.   My wedding didn’t even have a theme! And some people love to wear a big ball gown on the beach, or a simple sheath in a cathedral.

And her money situation is definitely NOT your business. Everyone prioritizes the various wedding elements differently.  Maybe this is her one splurge. Maybe she’s trying to buy as she goes along, because that’s easier for her than to save up a big sum. Maybe she got a tax refund. Maybe she’s going into piles of debt. It doesn’t affect you in any way, shape, or form. 

Post # 6
14481 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you’re looking way too much into it.  If she wants to spend 800 on her dress then that is her business.  Why do you care how and if it fits into her budget??  It’s her money, her priorities, her and her FI’s choice.  If you’re having a 30k wedding, what have you budgeted for a dress??  Why would you feel any sort of jealousy?  Take your time and totally disconnect your wedding from hers.  Dont even try to compare the two at all. 

Post # 7
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t really think it’s your place to comment. Her budget and finances are her and her FI’s business. I know you want to help b/c you’re basically family at this point, but if you say anything, especially since she already has the dress, you’ll just be raining on her planning parade. How would you have felt if someone told you that you were planning things wrong? She’ll learn what works best for her, just like we all did Laughing

Post # 8
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Agreed. It really is none of your business what she buys, when and how much she spends on them. Who cares if she bought her dress first. I bought my dress before I had my venue set in stone. I knew it was going to be indoors and at one of 3 different places. And in the end, who cares if it doesn’t match my “theme” or venue? I loved the dress and felt bridal in it and that is all that matters!

Post # 9
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t really think it’s any of your business what she spends on anything.. her budget really shouldn’t be any of your concern.  How she spends her money is only her business and of course her fiances business. I also think it’s silly for you to feel jealous at all because you will , in time, get your dress… 

Post # 10
64 posts
Worker bee

I think you need to step back and focus on your own wedding and budget.  It’s awesome that you are able to have the wedding of your dreams and she will have the wedding that she can have.  I’d understand if you were upset because she picked the same date as yours but I think that comparing her wedding planning to yours doesn’t make sense.  You just probably need to refocus a bit on yourself!  You have no reason to feel bad, sometimes feelings just happen…  🙂 

Post # 11
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I understand the concern, but just let her do her thing and you’ll be happy to wash your hands of the worry. Her wedding will be different than yours and that’s great!

Post # 12
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

You seem far too interested in what she’s doing.  Just do your thing, and let her do hers, whatever that may be.

Post # 13
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just do you!!

Post # 15
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I spent 800 on my dress. Guess what? I didn’t have a date or a venue when I bought. It was up to me, myself and I.

Post # 16
46402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t understand why this is an issue for you. One would think that you would have enough going on in your own life.

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