- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
So my FI’s sister (my age) got engaged just a few months before we did. At first, she said she was going to get married end of this summer. Well, Fiance and I went on our merry little way and booked a venue and wedding date November 3, 2012. Plenty of time, IMO, for her to get married before us or plan around it, since she did get engaged before us.
Then, I later found out that she was going to get married next summer. Then, it became next spring. –Basically, she has no idea.
When I first got engaged, I was really excited, because I was thinking that maybe we could share ideas or even share supplies for DIY or centerpieces or something like that. However, my Fiance informed me that his sister’s wedding was going to be a MUCH smaller budget than ours and there is no way she would be able to afford to share costs with us. I can understand, because our wedding budget is $30K+ and his sister and family does not have much money (make approx $10K per year salary).
Then I heard that she was going to have a simple, small, backyard BBQ. I thought that sounded very nice and totally doable on a small budget.
Well, come to find out this week that she still hasn’t picked a date or a venue or anything like that. The ONE thing she has done is pick out a dress….and spent over $800 on it, not including alterations or shoes or anything! I was shocked! It seems so backwards to pick out the dress first! What happens if it doesn’t go with the theme or the location she picks? I would certainly wear a different dress to a beach wedding than I would to a hotel wedding. AND, I couldn’t believe she spent $800 on it!! That seems like it would be a HUGE chunk of her wedding budget. My guess is she has no idea what her budget is going to be and just bought the dress on impulse. Plus, she told me that she doesn’t even like the neckline of her dress and needs to have it altered. I worry that she will have buyer’s remorse.
Maybe I am completely crazy, but I can’t believe she is spending so much on her dress. Most of the wedding budgeters I’ve seen say your dress/shoes/accessories should be 8-10% of your total budget. I cannot imagine that a girl who makes $10K per year would spend 8K on a wedding! Her Fiance doesn’t make any money, and her parents don’t have any money to help her out. She also has a baby (1-year-old) to take care of.
I know some people find the dress really important, so maybe I can understand why she’d spend more on that. I just feel really terrible, because I feel somewhat jealous that she has spent $800 on a dress without even shopping around, and my Fiance and I are saving so much money to have the wedding of our dreams! I feel guilty, because part of me it so shocked that she hasn’t made any decisions and hasn’t planned anything and is totally disorganized. I feel like some part of me isn’t happy for her and is slightly jealous that she already bought a dress! It’s not that I think she doesn’t deserve to have a wonderful wedding. I really WANT to be happy for her and want to share wedding planning tips and stuff, but something deep down inside isn’t sitting right. I mean, it’s not my place to say anything about how she spends her money.
Am I a bad person for feeling this way? Maybe I am just totally hung up on the money factor? ugh, someone please help screw my head back on straight (suffering from wedding brain).