Post # 61
I agree with this.
My sisters and I have sister nights where husbands/boyfriends/even other friends are specifically excluded. It is important to us to have this time together without feeling like we need to include others. If one of my sisters started demanding that their Fiance must be allowed to come to these nights every once in awhile or complained the entire time about how much they miss their Fiance and how they would have a better time if Fiance were there, I would be extremely put off and find the whole thing needy and ridiculous.
Also, how does Future Sister-In-Law and your Fiance going to a restaurant all of the sudden block you and your Fiance from going? Just go sometime later. I’ve eaten at restaurants with my family that Fiance wants to go to. I go eat, rave about how good the food was, and then Fiance and I go back later. I find it especially weird since it is your FMIL/FFIL who are recommending the place to begin with.
Post # 62
Is it possible she just doesn’t want you there because you would make sure she paid for her own drinks? It sounds like she just doesn’t want to give up her free (nice) meal ticket to me.
Post # 63
No, the times when we used to go out all together Fiance always paid, and I certainly wouldn’t object to us paying for her if I were there. I really don’t mind us treating her; I just don’t think it is fair for her to invite, exclude me, and then expect Fiance to pay. Fiance is frustrated with that too… I know he lets it happen and it’s his own doing, but he does feel “used.” He has said that. In terms of just asking for separate checks though, he said he just feels weird doing it. So I don’t know! He said the bill comes, it placed in the center, they wait and she doens’t do anything… just waits for him to get it. I think his best solution is to just limit these dinners.
I agree it would be needy to insist on going every time. That’s not what I’m suggesting as the “right” thing to do. I just don’t like how she’s treated me the last few months. Especially, since as I’ve said before, she has NEVER wanted alone sibling time before (even before I was around). And no, there is no reason why Fiance and I can’t go after he’s already been – not saying that it prevents us from going. But it does take away from something I look forward to doing with him – checking off our bucket list. People have different things they want to do with their SOs, ours is exploring our city together… including new restaurants. I agree this is his mistake in letting this happen, and now that he knows, it hasn’t been much of an issue in terms of where they go.