(Closed) FSIL as BM (bit of a vent… bit long)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

She’s your Bridesmaid or Best Man and she can’t even talk to you directly??  Why is she even part of the bridal party? Just cause shes SIL?  I’d use this to give her an out… this is the road youre taking for the dresses, if she’s uncomfortable with it and not sure about size or whatever, feel free to just back out.  I wouldnt want to deal with it.

Post # 4
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

oh boy no advise but wanted to wish you good luck! but seriously maybe have her send you some links of dresses she likes wither her measurements? and you could pass it a long to seamstress?

Post # 6
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@pinkshoes:  i totally agree, i think this whole ‘getting the dresses made’ thing is a fabolous idea!

 

@colli459:  Ultimately, it’s YOUR decision. It sounds like you’ve taken your girls preferences into consideration, and made a very sound choice. You can’t always please everyone, and if Future Sister-In-Law doesn’t agree with your choice for dresses, then she can step down from the bridal party.

Happy planning!

Post # 8
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh. So frustrating. I agree that you could use this to give her an out, but considering your last post that might not be the best option if you are uncomfortable with it. I’d personally be thrilled as a Bridesmaid or Best Man to get a custom made dress, however, for whatever reason your Future Sister-In-Law is not. I do understand her concern that she might not be able to accurately get her measurements a couple of months after pregnancy, but she can always measure up. This is about your day, not her and she agreed to stand up with you. And I’d also be thrilled because this would give me more motivation to get back in shape after the baby. 

Is it something that you can call to get her on the phone to talk it out rather than relaying messages? Might be better to get the concerns out up front. You don’t want this incident snowballing into something like some of the other Bridesmaid or Best Man horror stories you read on here.  

Post # 11
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sometimes people are just too wrapped up in themselves to realize the impact, or care to realize the impact that they have on other people.  Sounds like she is just a difficult person, and her behavior is the nature of the beast.  You can only do your best not to let her behavior ruin your special day.  Let’s look on the bright side —she lives in a different country!

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