FSIL as Bridesmaid — Long Post

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
3453 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

aregularanon :  you DO NOT have to include anyone you don’t want to in your wedding party – and there is no rule that you have to include future siblings. there is no bad blood whatsoever bewteen me and my SIL (who is also DH’s only sibling), we are the same age, but i did not include her in my wedding party. she’s simply just not one of my close friends. it seems that whenever people try to include future in-laws in the wedding party that they’re not actually friends with, it just leads to drama.

Post # 18
1753 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You’re the one with the Fiance who comes home completely plastered when he goes out with his friends and projectile vomits everywhere?  Bee are you seriously going thru with this wedding? You at least need to have a serious talk about his alcohol issues B4 you marry him.

Post # 19
9530 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Sorry. Safety and career trump niceties. You are not obligated to include her and your fears she will give details to your stalker/harasser are legitimate.

She can be an usher.

Post # 20
4583 posts
Honey bee

sablescorpion22 :  Exactly.

OP, your relationship has the vibe of a train wreck about to occur. 

Post # 21
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

aregularanon :  I completely understand your concerns Bee. Especially with #1. I wouldn’t want to give her any major details either. If you are that concerned and really believe she may give out wedding information to this crazy ex, I would not ask her.

However, if you are worried about causing issues with your relationship with her and the family by not involving her, perhaps you could ask to her be an older flower girl? Originally I was going to do that with my sister in law. I wanted her to be involved, but didnt have room for her as a bridesmaid.

If you already have a family member that is going to be a flower girl, perhaps you can ahve the sister escourt her down the aisle? Or perhaps she could give a short speech at the reception. That way she can feel involved in the wedding, but you’re not required to provide her with a ton of details.

If you do end up asking her to be a bridesmaid, I would limit the informaiton flow to her. Only give her the most basic information for thigsn and only when she absolutely needs it. I would avoid giving advacne notice of anything. Rehersal dinner? Tell ehr the week before at most. Wedding prepping? Again, only a week or a few days notice.

Good luck!

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