(Closed) FSIL as bridesmaid?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I personally would have selected her from the start, but it’s really important to me that all of our siblings were included in the wedding party.  What’s done is done, and her feelings are clearly hurt.  I would try to talk to her and explain why she wasn’t selected as a bridesmaid, but tell her you’d like her to participate in the wedding somehow (maybe as a reader?).  At the very least, I think you need to apologize to her for the hurt feelings and try to make it right.

Post # 4
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Like pp said what’s done is done. Best thing to do now is to apologize and explain your train of thought.

 

Post # 6
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@megn133:  Have you asked her what she would like to be part of? Maybe she has something in mind? If you said you were sorry and she didn’t except then it’s kind of out of your hands. All you can do is be kind and include her in other things..The ball is kind of in her court now. Hopefully she does the right thing:/

Post # 7
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@megn133:  Why don’t you just tell her that?

Post # 8
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Sometimes you can’t win…my Future Sister-In-Law is a bridesmaid but got angry that we haven’t asked her kids to be in the wedding…..

Some people you can never please…..you don’t HAVE to have your Future Sister-In-Law in your bridal party…if you’re not close to her I don’t see why it’s an issue anyways?  I really think it’s more HER issue than yours….

Post # 9
Member
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s nothing that says his sisters have to stand up on my side imo.  I have 2 brothers that were not GMs and he has 2 sisters that were not my BMs.  You ask who you want to stand up for you to be BMs, I dont see why it would be hard to understand that you probably have closer friends and family to you that you have known longer than his sister(s) that you want up there with you.

Post # 11
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I see it from both sides. I dont think you should have anyone standing up there “just to include them” but i can understand having everyone involved. idk i dont think it’s anything to be really upset about Future Sister-In-Law. but i dont think your Future Mother-In-Law should have brought it up in the first place.

Post # 12
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This sentence really bothers me “I honestly dont feel she needs to be part of our day” when her kids are in the wedding. I agree that she may not need to be part of your wedding party, and can be a guest, but she is still a family member. Honestly  this just sounds so rude, if you phrased it this way, neither my kids or I would be attending your wedding.

Anyway, not sure exactly how to fix this other than to just apologize, stand by your original plans, don’t let the Mother-In-Law or other family members make you second guess them and lead to more awkwardness. Maybe jsut emphasize her role in the wedding as the parent of your flower girl and ring bearer and their importance.

Post # 14
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

This is a hard situation. I am an only child and my FI’s sisters are both my Maid/Matron of Honor. I feel that after we’re married they’re my sisters and why wouldn’t I want my sisters to be in my wedding…. I guess if you’re not close to her it’s a hard situtaion. But this is a woman your Fiance grew up with, even if she is ten years older

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