(Closed) FSIL asked me not to be there…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 49
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is there some sort of dictionary where I can look up what all these abreviations mean? 

Post # 50
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@Nic01:  But she hasn’t singled you out, since she isn’t inviting her own father too and she probably isn’t inviting every single member of the family to be present while she gets ready right? She probably just wants the bridal party there and since you aren’t part of the bridal party I don’t see why you should be there.

Also it is a family occasion infact you are invited to the wedding, she is just asking to spend an hour alone with her bridal party/few family memebrs whilst she gets ready, maybe to take some pictures. Has she invited there whilst she gets ready every other partner of the bridal party? In that case you could be offended.

Post # 51
Member
9877 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think I’d read too much into this. It sounds like she just wants extra time with her family and the bridal party, and usually that does not include significant others. Perhaps she’s just trying to avoid any awkwardness of having you sit alone while he’s in the bridal suite or running errands for her, or whatever.

Post # 52
Member
9948 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@Nic01:  Thanks for the UPDATE with Reply # 17

IMO, that is the game changer… him being in the Bridal Party… HER Bridal Party, and being essentially a male-version of the Maid/Matron of Honor (Man of Honour)

Therefore, I wouldn’t read a whole lot into it.

It would be like any Bride getting ready for her big day… many Brides starting very early in the morning…

And certainly bringing / arranging for Breakfast is a very common role for the Maid/Matron of Honor (can anyone say Mimosas ?)

The Bride probably didn’t mean any offense, she just might have not said it well… considering her Bridal Party is a bit outside of the norm…

“Can you come early, bring Breakfast, we can have a bit of family time… and no offence but can Nick come up later with Dad?”

I think the confusion is in the wording… family time is slightly different than saying Bridesmaids time… but then again, he’s not a maid is he (and I sincerely doubt he’ll be fulfilling the role in the usual way… doubt he’s going to be in the room the whole time she’s in her undies or getting dressed)

You are right in further UPDATES by saying you are going to let it go… and just make other arrangements to fit the now altered schedule.

That would be the HIGH ROAD in my opinion for this situation.  I mean, maybe she didn’t mean anything against you whatsoever, she’s just focussed in on Bride World… (lol, happens)

Better to just go along with it all… rather than rock the boat… because if she didn’t mean it in a malicious way, and you do say something, well quite frankly you’ll look like the “My Brother’s Freaked Out Fiance”… and ya don’t need that.

It is her day… best to just get along as she’ll soon be family anyhow.

If there are going to be ISSUES between you 2 gals … there will be bigger ones to come down the road I am sure.

Just my 2 cents

 

Post # 54
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I still dont understand what family time is and why your Future Father-In-Law isnt invited to it?

This whole thing sounds really vague. Sure you are not in the bridal party or joined at the hip but whats the sense in coming separate if you are attending together?

Post # 55
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I don’t see here where the bride ever said she wanted “family time.” I see where the OP said she and her Fiance planned to arrive early to allow for Family time.

The OP feels bad because it was her idea to arrive early for family time, but now the Bride is asking for FI/brother to arrive early without the OP. So the OP feels funny because she “thinks” the bride never thought of anyone arriving early until OP brought it up.

I highly doubt that the bride wasn’t thinking of people arriving early all along. I think she had it in mind for her bridal party, not her whole family. And so when FI/brother told his sister about OP and his plans, the Bride probably said, “No, I need you earlier than that. And alone because I don’t want OP to feel she’s in the way. Have OP ride in with dad.”

I wouldn’t be upset about this. 

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