Post # 1
So first you need a little back story. There was a dress that my Future Sister-In-Law fell in love with when we went shopping for bridesmaids dresses alone at Nordstorm. It was pricey at $169 but it fit me really well so I wouldn’t need alterations. I am a bridesmaid in her wedding.
Today we went shopping at David’s Bridal and it was a mess. The one bridesmaid who is tiny complains the whole time. She is super picky, and wants “her boobs to show”. She is maybe a b cup, and is always talking about her “awesome rack”. I am a Dirty Delete, and I do not want my boobs hanging out. We did end up finding two dresses, and really liking one of them.
After shopping they decided to go to lunch. I had to leave to go to work. Before leaving they said they may go try on the dress at Nordstorm that my Future Sister-In-Law loved. I said okay, and that I hope they love it. Then I get a text that they didn’t like it but found another one. It is $188 dollars which is a lot of money to me AND THEY BOUGHT ME ONE IN THE WRONG SIZE. Not only is the dress not available in my correct size but I have to pay $50 more than the dress at David’s Bridal. Naturally it’s in the tiny girl’s size but no one else’s. To me this is not fair.
The bride wants to add a brooch to dress it up more, and wants us to have matching shoes. I talked to her on the phone, and she said she doesn’t even love the dress. She just wanted to shut the other bridesmaids up, and was stressed out. I was very understanding but inside I was kind of ticked off.
I work part time, and go to college full time. I knew being in the wedding would be a financial comittment but I feel like it’s getting out of control. By the time this is done I will be spending at least $450 on the outfit. My Fiance is also in their wedding which is costing us an additional $210.
What in the heck am I supossed to do?
Post # 3
@loch_ness: OOf, not a fun situation. I’m so sorry.
Sounds like a tired, stressed bride was bullied into making a snap decision.
The good news is there is a graceful way out. Since they got you the wrong size, they would need to change the order anyway. Since it isn’t even available in your size, you clearly can’t buy that particular dress. No one looks good in ill-fitting clothing. At this point, the bride probably just wants the dress shopping to be over.
You can explain that politely to the bride, and maybe suggest that since the other bridesmaid loved the $188 dress so much, maybe it could be possible for you to wear two different dresses. Maybe you could end up wearing the Nordstrom dress after all. The alterations are so expensive that it will be so economical for you to get that dress. You might be able to persuade the bride by saying that you could use the money saved on alterations to get that brooch or whatever. Matching shoes is a good idea, especially if you end up wearing different dresses, but there’s no reason the shoes need to be crazy expensive, and unless the brooch is made of diamonds, it should be cheap too. If you go the economical way, no one will be able to tell the shoes are from Payless and that the amazing brooch is a DIY you all made at a fun get-together with supplies from Michaels and a hot-glue gun. The tough thing is, it’s not your wedding, and the bride sounds so stressed she is probably at the point of just wanting to pay every vendor to stop subtly criticizing her wedding. You can’t go wrong with asking politely and offering to solve the problems.
Post # 4
Hbanan has a point. Let ‘Boobs’ have her dress and you have yours, if the bride will let you. And it really does sound as if the bride could use some help with solutions and dealing with steamrolling folks right now. Maybe you can be her interference for a while.
And ew…hate when BM’s make it all about them.
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice ladies. I know she doesn’t want any of us to stand out though because her sister will be offended as the Maid/Matron of Honor if we look different. The “boobs” girl is not her sister though.The two dresses are very different from each other so they would look really strange in pictures.
I just feel kind of bad because I really like my Future Sister-In-Law. She is really nice, super sweet, and can be kind of a push over. Maybe it’s best if I just suck it up, and make it easier on her.
Post # 6
It sucks that the whinest, bitchiest people get their way. That’s how it always happens. I am sorry that your Future Sister-In-Law didn’t have more of a backbone. Maybe you could ask if she could pay for the alterations? Or make the shoes/brooch part of your gift instead of something else?
Post # 7
Hmmm…. maybe if Future Sister-In-Law is such a pushover you could call Boobs directly and work it out with her? Are you the only two that will be wearing this dress? Maybe she’s not aware of your financial position, and maybe you could talk her into something cheaper?
I just think that would be easier than asking an already stressed bride to pay for things she probably did not budget for.
Or, have you tried finding this dress in your size on the classifieds or on eBay?
Post # 8
There a four total bridesmaids. Two of us are more budget conscious. The bride is still looking at dresses, and 2 of the bridesmaids went to David’s Bridal again. I called Nordstorms, and it seems like they will be able to figure this dress problem out. I am going in on Tuesday to try on the dress, and find my size in it. From what the consultant said there are other sizes available. The consultant was under the impression that I lived far away, and thought it was strange they ordered it without me. Thank god for good customer service!
Post # 9
um… if it were me and they went out and ordered a dress FOR me in the WRONG size, i would refuse to pay for it. sorry, but the girls who made the order and signed the paper can pay for their own mistake.
Post # 10
To be honest, I sort of feel that trying to convince the bride to let you wear a different dress is making you just like the smaller bridesmaid. When I’m in a wedding, I don’t question what the bride chooses. It’s her day, and I’ll wear whatever she wants me to wear. I’m sorry you can’t afford to be in this wedding, but perhaps now is the time to let her know that so that you aren’t incurring additional expenses that you can’t afford, and she’s not out a bridesmaid closer to the wedding.
Post # 11
@2PeasinaPod: I agree with this completely. I’m also not following the math… the dress is $200, I fail to see how a few alterations, a brooch (costume, I’m assuming), and shoes come to at least $250. If they do, then tell the bride you’re sorry but you’ve reached your limit and can’t afford to be a bridesmaid. But IMO $200 is not out of line for a bridesmaid dress.
Post # 12
Alterations are expensive. I think ordering a dress for a bridesmaid in the wrong size and then telling her about it later is pretty out of line.
Post # 13
@loch_ness: YIKES! Well you sort of got lucky that its in the wrong size, maybe you can just cancel it or something because spending your money/placing an order without you there is pretty messed up… ESP when they’re saying you have to pay to get it altered as well! Since its Nordstroms, can you just return it?
Is she opposed to having different dresses but same color? That would help this situation 10-fold as every girl can get a dress for their body type/boob desires ;]
I think the bride needs to pipe up and say she doesnt like the dress at the very least!
I’m so sorry for your stress… WHY are Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses so expensive?! :[
Post # 14
@2peasinapod Alterations get very expensive when you are taking a dress that is two sizes too big down to your size. I would have paid probably $150-$200 in alterations for it to fit my body. I am shorter, and the hem alone at Nordstorms is $25. Also, $50 for shoes, and $30 for a brooch or belt.
So here was the math: $188(dress price)+$150 (which is modest for alterations)+$50 for shoes+$30 for the brooch/belt+TAX=$443.
I did update the thread though. I contacted Nordstorms, and they said they had other sizes in the dress. It was the 2 bridesmaids who were there who lied about there not even being other sizes available in the dress. The consultant has been very helpful so far. The dress bought in the wrong size will be returnable.
Post # 15
What a crazy situation! I’m so glad that the dress was bought at Nordstrom, though. They’ll work with you to make you a happy customer (and get the size that will work best for you). It’s great that the consultant has been so helpful–that’s what Nordstrom is known for.
Post # 16
Nordstrom is so helpful- I’m glad that they were able to help you find the dress in your size!
That being said, Nordstrom is also very wonderful with their return policy, so if the BRIDE doesn’t even like the dress, you should all keep looking! Boobs Bridesmaid can have her pick of dresses when it’s her wedding day.