(Closed) FSIL coming between my FI and me

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This kind of comes with the territory of:

  • being obligated to make someone your bridesmaid
  • tell the bm’s they can choose (and then tell them their choices don’t work)
  • make them pay for the dresses (can I assume this is the case?)

If she’s a doctor she’s probably just busy and not into being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  She shouldn’t have accepted but probably felt that would have casued more drama.  It’s annoying she isn’t contacting you directly but maybe she’s just not that friendly.  Sounds like routine Bridesmaid or Best Man drama.  I don’t really see you as being right or wrong in this case.  Just a miscommunication about dresses.

Post # 4
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

Being in the medical field myself, I’m sure she doesn’t have a lot of time, which makes me think she shouldn’t have even accepted being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Now that she has, she sounds like she’s being a bitch by demanding she gets her way.  HOWEVER.  Like the pp said, if you gave them the choice to choose their dresses, you shouldn’t then shoot down their choice.  I see your point, but I can also see the situation she’s in. 

I would let her wear the damn dress and tell her she’s going to look just like your Maid/Matron of Honor, no one else will be matching except them, etc, etc.  If she STILL wants that dress, let her have it and get on with your day.  And don’t let people choose things if you still want a say in the end :/

Good luck!  And what’s with the money in the glove box?  Entitled much?  😉

Post # 5
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

Another thing: I think it’s a red flag that your Fiance is sticking up for her and not you.  You should talk to him about this (calmly, rationally) and explain how going forward, you and him are family and he should back you up when it comes to his family.  THIS is more important than the actual dress issue IMO.  

Post # 6
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Is this really worth a family feud? If she wants that dress let her have it, unless you are covering the whole cost. No one else will notice or care honestly. 

Post # 7
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She sounds like a pain in the butt – yes, she’s in the wrong here, and emailing your Fiance instead of you over this stuff is totally passive aggressive.  What bugs me most here, though, is that your Fiance always takes her side instead of yours.  It should be the other way around.  That’s more concerning than her being difficult, and you guys need to get this sorted out soon, because it’s going to get a lot worse after years of this sort of stuff.

 

Post # 9
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I thought you were in grad school?

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sounds like the issue was resolved so whats the problem? not worth a family feud.

Post # 11
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I do have to say that him sticking up for his sister over you could be a red flag. My exH used to do this all the time, she was amazing, the best thing since sliced bread, and it really caused issues.  I get that she’s his sister, but if this is happening for more than a dress, you should make sure a line is drawn – he’s not marrying her, he’s marrying you. You should come first.

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