- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hi! This is my first time posting here, but I’m trying to get some perspective/advice from the immensely smart bee’s that read these posts . I got engaged to my wonderful fiancé in May 2011. We are ecstatic to be planning our wedding, as are our family and friends! About 6 weeks after I got engaged my older brother also popped the question. Under normal circumstances, this would have been excellent news. Unfortunately, no one in my family is overly thrilled with his choice in a bride. However, it’s not our decision who he marries, so that’s just something we have to live with. They have a child together, and part of me thinks that she was upset that my brother hadn’t asked her already. Once I was engaged I think she turned up the pressure about getting engaged. None of this really phased me much because I hope that they are marrying for the right reasons, and hey, we each get our own day right? WRONG! The day my brother and his fiancé got engaged was the day my fiancé and I put down a deposit on our wedding venue. We are planning a beach wedding, and have been since we first got engaged. We were open with our whole family about our plans, however, when anyone expressed an interest in their plans, they were evasive and wouldn’t tell us. Or if they did say anything at all, it was “we aren’t in a rush”. Come to find out a few months later, they too are planning a beach wedding. The worst part is, they are jumping our wedding date! Trust me, I totally understand that people get married on the beach every day, but seriously?! We are from the same family and I just think that it’s spiteful to copy my whole wedding theme and do it before me. My main concern is that we’re going to have very similar guest lists and I feel like it puts a burden on those guests to travel out of state to the same location for two weddings…for the same family! My biggest concern is that people we really want to attend may be forced to choose between the two due to finances. Weddings aren’t cheap and while we’re trying to make things as financially accessible as we can, I know that it won’t be enough for some. I guess what really gets me is that this is my own brother, not a cousin, or family friend, but someone who is in my immediate family. It just feels like a slap in the face, as though they didn’t consider anyone else’s feelings but their own.
I did speak to my brother about how his plans to have his wedding be almost identical to mine were upsetting. I feel upstaged. He told me that they weren’t changing their plans and I better just get over it. While I realize there is nothing I can do, it still makes me resentful of him and of them.
Help me out here bee’s, would you be upset or do you think I’m just blowing things out of proportion?