Post # 16
Aus_Bee : My Fiance isn’t hurt the way I am from being excluded, but he does think she is being rude and that we in no way need to include them in our own bridal party or bachelor/bachelorette parties. I do know that excluding her from my bridal party would cause some intense drama, mainly from his mother who sees our weddings as competition and compares everything my Fiance and I do to Future Sister-In-Law. She thinks the world of her, and excluding her from the bridal party after she made me a bridesmaid would be a huge blow.
I was thinking about possibly making her a bridesmaid to avoid family drama and then not inviting her to my bachelorette, but I’m not sure if that’s worse than not making her a bridesmaid.
Post # 17
If you’re having a bridal party you may want to just include her. It sucks that you guys are being treated this way, but they will be your family forever so keeping the peace has a lot of value in this case. It sounds like she thinks including future in laws is a thing you’re supposed to do (since she included you without you being close) so she’d probably take it really personally if you excluded her. I’d be the bigger person on this (although as pps have said, it sounds like some of the problem lies with the other bms).
If you keep it very small that’s another story – I’m having my sister as a Maid/Matron of Honor only (plus flower girl). I’m actually feeling kind of guilty for not including FSILs (who I adore) but I think they understood when they realized what I was doing (hopefully!). If I’d had bridesmaids they would have been first on the list. I think we’re going to have them do a reading instead so they’re included.
Post # 18
andielle : I would just be the bigger person and include her. And also let her know (later, after her wedding is over) that you would have loved to have come to her bachelorette if you’d have known about the concert in time (who knows, she may think you’re not there on purpose).
I get that this wedding may be uncomfortable, but it sounds (so far) like it’s more like them being inconsiderate rather than mean… and also that sometimes it’s easier to do things like bachelor/ette parties with friends rather than families.
If you weren’t super involved in her wedding, she doesn’t have to be in yours. But I’d rather just include her than create drama over it, personally.