(Closed) FSIL Dropped out of the Wedding and is not speaking to me (Kinda Long)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@lindseyl06:  Take the car back, stop the payments and sell the car. Drop her insurance too.

If the car is in your FI’s name, there’s no way the sister can sue you or call the cops, because the car is yours.

Post # 5
Member
7449 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If she has no problem cutting of her dad, you need to care less about maintaining a relationship with her. @Scar_cats_tic:  gave the right steps. As far as the alleged money given by her child’s father, its really none of your business. if she has a history of being bad money your FH and you should have never entered into that arrangement to begin with.

Post # 7
Member
3042 posts
Sugar bee

@lindseyl06:  fine if you don’t want to take the car bc of her kid but get a cheaper car. I am single and make a decent living and would never have a car payment like that. She needs a 2005 Honda civic. Reliable and affordable. 

And take this lesson on money and family. No loans, no co-signing, none of this nonsense allowing people to live above their means on your back. So absurd. 

Post # 9
Member
7449 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lindseyl06: I get it. Especially with the three kids im sure she rides that guilt train. Your FH needs to realize your family should come first before all. its not fair for him to call you spiteful. 

Post # 10
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@lindseyl06:  Yikes, didn’t know she has 3 kids that rely on the car too…:( that complicates the issue.

Post # 11
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree that you need to stop payments on the car and sell it.

Also stop associating with trashy people and paying for their things. That will make your life a lot easier.

Post # 13
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I would have taken the car back if she decided to act like that. I understand she has kids but FFS you bought a car for her AND put the insurance in YOUR name. She’s being ridiculously ungrateful & selfish & I think you should be glad you’re not being forced to have a relationship with her, she sounds like drama station to me.

Post # 14
Member
37 posts
Newbee

@lindseyl06:  Take back the car but phase it out…tell her that you will be taking the car back in three months. That is enough time for her to find another way to get around OR get money together to pay you back. If you’re going to keep it in your names’ you should definitely take your name off the insurance. Not your problem. You’ve gone above and beyond. And do it all in a professional way so she won’t keep you from seeing your nieces/nephews since you obviously love them.

Post # 15
Member
546 posts
Busy bee

She doesn’t have much longer on the loan right? Have her refinance it in her name. Or if you must, have FI refinance it in his name. Once upon a time I had a car payment a little higher than that, lost my job on the last year of the loan. Refinanced it, payments were cut to a third of what they were. Yeah I paid for a ridiculously long amount of time but, I was in a position to have it repossessed and maybe lose my home too. 

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