(Closed) FSIL & FBIL both trying to have babies – r/s wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I would try to choose a date in the window you have that looks like it could work for everyone and let the cards fall where they may.  That could mean one or both might at just the right time during/after pregnancy that they can’t come.  It is a chance you take but you have your lives and they have theirs.  Hopefully the timing works out for everyone!

Post # 4
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper

They can try for baby but that doesn’t mean it will happen on their schedule. Pick the best date for you and your FH. Something can always potentially come up. I wouldn’t relocate the wedding, personally. 

Post # 5
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Pick a date.  Plan your wedding how and where you want.  You cannot plan around when his siblings may or may not have a baby.  People always have life plans and they’re constantly changing, you can’t put your plans on hold because of what might happen with someone else’s.

Post # 6
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Babies can’t be scheduled, so just plan your wedding and hope it all works out. Travel with a newborn is not a big deal… it would be late pregnancy that would be the problem.

Post # 7
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mousepeach:  No, definitely not.

If they want to be there, they’ll be there.  The world doesn’t revolve around you because you have a baby. 

Post # 8
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t relocate.  If they won’t travel to NYC they won’t travel anywhere.  You can’t plan your life around theirs – they obviously aren’t planning around you.  Set a date and see what happens. 

Or – get married 7 or 8 months from now.  Problem solved, as long as no one is already KU.  🙂

Post # 9
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@bklynbridetobe:  +1. It could take anywhere from several months to a year, or even more than that. Plan it how, when, and where you want to and they will fit themselves in how they can.

Post # 10
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mousepeach:  my 2 cents, for what its worth:

we really REALLY REALLY wanted to have our wedding in our jet-setting east coast current city, but chose to get married in the midwest in our home state for two reasons:

1) to accommodate family: it was extremely important to me that my family could attend, but none of them would have been able to afford to travel to our current city for the wedding

2) weddings are WAY CHEAPER in our home state

so in my opinion, if it is critically important that they be there, yes, i would relocate the wedding, particularly if a date hasn’t been set yet.

Post # 11
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bklynbridetobe:  +1

Some people get pregnant the first few months they try… others, sadly, have to wait years. You’ll never know what the process is for your future siblings. Also, I’ve seen newborn babies at weddings (last summer, one of the babies belonged to the bride!), and it is completely doable if their budget allows. They might not want to be in the wedding party, because of the added expenses and time, but hey, they will probably be able to be there. Have you talked to them about it?


Post # 12
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper

OP, I get that they are important to you and your FH & certainly I think reasonable measures should be taken into consideration. But planning a wedding is freaking stressful enough. Life can’t be predicted, no matter how much we like to think that we are in control  

If this you simply thinking ahead trying to be an accommodating your future FB & Future Sister-In-Law that’s really nice of you. But you’ll find out quickly that if you take on too many “considerations” will quickly become about everyone else. And you’ll become resentful. There is no such thing as the perfect date/location that works for everyone (even if they are siblings/family). 

This is about your new “family” of you and your fiancé. It’s best to set reasonable boundaries and expectations from now. Or else people will run crazy dictating who/what/when and where.

Post # 13
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@bklynbridetobe:  This 100%. 


I got pregnant with my first daughter on birth control.  The second after trying for one month.  This baby took almost 18 months to conceive.  You just never really know and I’d hate for you to reschedule based on something that may or may not happen in a certain amount of time.

Post # 14
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There’s absolutely no way to plan around when people are having babies…esp when they’re not pregnant yet!! Worse comes to worse maybe just the siblings will attend and their spouses will stay home w/ babies…or if they don’t want to travel you could always skype them in for the ceremony or something.

You have to live your life and they have to live theirs. There’s no guarantee that even if you planned around their schedule they’d be able to come (something else might come up) so go on with your plans & hope it works out!

Post # 15
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@mousepeach:  Pick a date and stick to it.  They may get pregnant in a few months or it may take years.  How long do you plan to postpone?  What if they decide to have their second child when you finally set a date.

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