- 3 years ago
This is mostly going to be a vent… but any words of wisdom would be appreciated as well. And I don’t need to hear the whole, “bridesmaids don’t need to do anythign but show up on the day of the wedding wearing the dress.” 1.) I already know this and have not expected anything from any of them up to this point and 2.) She may not even show up in the correct dress… which I suppose is another post for another time.
Anyone who has seen my post history knows that my Future Sister-In-Law has been extremely difficult during this whole wedding process. None of my other bridesmaids have met her before, so I never complained to them, hoping that they would get along with her more than I have been lately.
Well, this past weekend was my bridal shower and bachelorette party! (We did both on the same day since 3/5 of my bridesmaids live out of state and this was a better option for them so they didn’t feel obligated to travel here more than once before the wedding.)
Overall, everything went great! Nonetheless, I can’t seem to shake this continous icky feeling about my Future Sister-In-Law.
This was the first time all 5 bridesmaids met eachother. Four of them hit it off great. They talked, sat at a table together, and even invited my Future Sister-In-Law (the 5th bridesmaid) to sit with them, and she flat out refused. Okay, whatever. Not a big deal. The bridesmaids and my aunts had a few little games planned for the shower. Everyone in the room participated… except for Future Sister-In-Law. She literally sat at her table looking miserable the whole time. Even FSIL’s mother and daughter participated! There were multiple times throughout the afternoon where Future Sister-In-Law was asked to help with something and again, refused. (To be fair, I am not a fan of shower games either… but all the games the aunts and bridesmaids planned were very lowkey.)
Toward the end of the shower, some of the girls going to the bachelorette party said to my Future Sister-In-Law, “aren’t you excited for the bachelorette party later?! It’s going to be a blast!” To which my Future Sister-In-Law responded, “I’m not going.” (This was news to me.) Trying to make conversations, the other girls asked her why and she rattled off how 1.) she didn’t drink and 2.) she is 10 weeks pregnant, plus a few other excuses. I totally get this. Again, trying to be nice, one girl said, “oh! I don’t drink either but we can totally stick together!” And another one of my friends who is pregnant said, “I’m 22 weeks pregnant! Us pregnant girls can stick together too!” To which my Future Sister-In-Law responded how she didn’t know how anyone could have fun around anyone who is drinking and then said to my other pregnant friend how she is a completely irresponsible mother for even considering hanging out with a bunch of drunk girls. Although I felt she was extremely rude to my other pregnant friend, I brushed it off, figuring it was her decision whether she wanted to go or not. (And, for the record, while we did drink, it was by no means some wild and crazy night.)
Despite attempting to brush these things off over and over again over the past few months, I guess I’m just bummed. I was so worried during the whole wedding shower about how unhappy she looked that it was hard for me to have a good time because I kept trying to entertain her. In addition, obviously her first impression to the rest of my bridesmaids and friends was a bad one. Despite me trying to squash the conversation, both friends and family members kept bringing up throughout the night how rude she was and how unhappy she looked. A couple of my bridesmaids even asked if I could avoid sitting her at the bridesmaid’s table during the wedding reception because they didn’t want to deal with her. (Obviously, I refused this.)
I guess I’m just feeling so defeated. I have tried everything I can at this point to make this a good situation. Obviously, I’m not going to kick her out of the wedding party, but I want my wedding to be a good experience for everyone and I don’t want to be worrying about her the entire day about making sure she’s happy.