(Closed) FSIL has me feeling so defeated.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My DH’s evil sister and I do not have a relationship. He also does not deal with her either. This all happened prior to my wedding, so she not only was she no longer going to be a bridesmaild, she was not invited to the wedding altogether. I have zero regrets about this, and she was not missed. She is quite unhappy in life and we chose to walk away from her drama. You have not mentioned how your Fiance feels about her behavior. Is he aware that this is going on? I would highly recommend that you seat her at a seat where the other girls are side-by-side and she is not in between any of them. This way they do not have to speak with her. I don’t think you want additional drama on your wedding day. After the wedding, you may want to distance yourself from her. Except for extended family events, you should not have to deal with her anymore. Don’t let this miserable woman steal any of your joy. Ignore her as much as you can. Good luck with everything!!!

 

Post # 4
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My only words of wisdom would be for you to focus on your upcoming wedding and enjoy all of the events leading up to them. Don’t base your happiness or excitement on any other person or thing.

If she was invited to all these things and everyone made an effort to include her, there is nothing else you can do. Continue treating her kindly and leave it at that. 

You are getting married, be excited about that and don’t focus on how she feels/acts about it! Because in the end, it doesn’t matter if she is excited or not. 

 

Post # 5
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

I agree with ignoring her! All of this reflects really badly on her, and not on you. I know it’s frustrating and everyone wants a big happy bridal party, but it sounds like you have some incredible friends! Just have fun with them and try not to let her bring you down. You and the BMs can just interact with her as little as possible. She should have plenty of family there that she can hang out with instead. It sounds like she won’t be happy no matter what, so just try to ignore her.

Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My Future Sister-In-Law (DH’s brother’s fiance) is exactly like this all the time. Always something to complain about, always has some story about either how miserable her situation is OR how amazing she is, and just looks and acts like she is unhappy all the time. Thankfully she wasn’t one of my bridesmaids, but regardless my plan has been to deal with her only when I have to and the least amount possible–smile and nod, get through it, and then have a friend to vent about it to later if necessary! Focus on what is going well for the wedding, as it sounds like she is the only low point!

Post # 7
Member
7571 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You have tried killing her with kindness and it’s not working. She obviously has a bee in her britches about something or other. It might not even have anything to do with you…everyone has shit going on in their lives and most of us don’t know the half of what another person is privately dealing with. So cut her some slack, but also try to stop worrying about it. I would treat her with basic civility, continue including her in all events and certainly seat her with the rest of the bridal party at the wedding, but beyond that, I wouldn’t make any further effort. Just enjoy your special time and focus on the fact that it sounds like you have a really supportive and excited group of bridesmaids and family members, with this one exception!

Post # 8
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
underblueskies1016 :  I’m torn between feeling sorry for her and thinking she’s a sour bitch. Does she have any mental health issues? Is she going through a really difficult time? Has she always had an attitude like this? Because she’s being rude, sulky and difficult…..how harshly I’d judge her on this would depend on why. Regardless it still sucks for you that she’s this grey cloud over all your events. It sounds like you have a nice group of friends who tried their best to include her and make her a part of things….I don’t think you can do much more for her if she’s determined to act miserable. I guess my advice would be to reach out to her if she’s hurting, ignore her as much as possible if she’s being a sour pill. 

Post # 9
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

What’s wrong with sitting her elsewhere at the reception? Not out of spite but so that she’s with people she’s knows and likes? Maybe that’ll help her enjoy herself more (while also meaning you don’t have to deal with her during dinner)? 

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