Post # 1
So me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years now and are living together. I know he’s planning to propose soon as he has talked about it a lot and we already know the date we want to get married (after is best p friend comes home from his Mormon mission) 🙂 About a year ago his sister started acting very weird towards me she would constantly ignore me, not invite me to family functions, and say very passive aggressive/backhanded comments towards me. About 6 months ago I posted something on Facebook (nothing even remotely about her) and she wrote all over my wall about what a bitch (and other various inappropriate names) I was. I was really upset about this for days and my Future Mother-In-Law called her and told her to take her postings down, which she did. My boyfriend was very angry with her and had a very long heated phone conversation with her telling her she is never allowed to talk to me like that again etc.
Things were still very tense between all of us for a month or so after so my Future Mother-In-Law decided to call a family meeting of sorts to sort out what has been happening between the Future Sister-In-Law and me. Things got very heated with both me and her getting very emotional and angry and said that she doesn’t like me because I grew up in a wealthy family and she didn’t and it isn’t fair that I get everything that I want (which isnt true) and she gets nothing but finally she told us that she is mad at me because my boyfriend obviously adores me and treats me like a queen (which he does and he is an amazing man which is why I love him) and she is angry because my boyfriend HER BROTHER doesn’t adore her and treats her differently than he treats me. She says its not fair because he she adore her and treat her the same way he treats me. By. The end of the day things were sort of “resolved” but I found out that two days after our “resolution” meeting while I was at work she told my boyfriend that he always looks miserable when he is around me and that he should break up with me and move on (WTF?!)
So fast forward to a few months ago (me and her haven’t talked misery much but have tried to be cordial) his parent bought a new house and offered us the basement apartment for very low rent so we can save money. Apparently Future Sister-In-Law thought my Future Mother-In-Law was going to offer the apartment to her and her husband ( & their 2 year old son) so now she is not speaking to me again and I’m just over the drama. But now that I know my boyfriend will be proposing in the next few weeks I’m getting a nervous about how she will react. Obviously she is a jealous person and I’m afraid she will ruin the planning process for me and be horrible to me and my FH . Anyone have any advice on how I should deal with her?
Post # 3
@Loulou22: Ignore her. She is jealous of you for superficial reasons. OF COURSE her brother can not love and adore her the same way he does you: that’s incest!! She is projecting her misrable life onto you and it’s not fair whatsover. Be thankful your Future Mother-In-Law and Fiance are on YOUR side and see her behavior for what it is.
For the record, DO NOT let her into your bridal party whatsoever.
Post # 4
@Loulou22: I totally agree with what the previous poster said. IGNORE HER
Do not let this “child” ruin what should be a very wonderful and special time in your life. She needs to focus on her husband and child.
Do not let her in the wedding party. Do not include her in the wedding planning. Focus on your soon to be Fiance, be kind to his parents and let his sister just keep proving what an ass she is.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Post # 5
Be nice to her when you see her and ignore her when she is being unkind.She sounds terrible.sorry!
Post # 6
She is cray cray. Ignore her. I cant believe she is older than 5. What a child.
Post # 7
Ignoreeeee herrrrrr! Not worth the effort, or drama. If she’s going to be jealous, let that be her burden.
Post # 8
Be civil when you have to and otherwise just live your life. She sounds like a spoiled, jealous brat.
Also…she’s mad because her brother doesn’t adore and treat her like he does you? That’s creepy.
Post # 9
Ewww….that’s just wierd. At first I thought that maybe she was trying to spousify your Fiance, but then you said she had a husband of her own. That’s way creepy.
Post # 10
@Loulou22: Eh, chalk it up to her being crazy (this situation makes me think of Teresa and Joe from Jersey housewives…. it’s kind of gross). There are some people in life that you can’t please, just know that. Don’t EXPECT her to be crazy happy for you guys when you announce your engagement and don’t harp on all the crap she is likely to spew. Just ingore her and forge onward!
Post # 11
Ignore her – stay classy, just say ‘hi’ when you see her and that’s it. Forget about it and don’t let it get to you.
Post # 12
@JemmaWRX: it’s pretty much exactly like the Joe and Teresa situation, me and my FH say that all the time.
I really have been trying to ignore her but it’s getting hard to just keep ignoring her mean comments. Also ever since she made the creepy comments about wanting my FH to adore her he doesn’t know what to do or what to say to her. We are both really creeped out and don’t know how to handle her. I’m also afraid that if I don’t put her in the bridal party she will throw a fit and my Future Mother-In-Law will try and force me to make her a bridesmaid.:( I’m just so confused about how to handle the situation 🙁
Post # 13
Justt ignore that biatch, she sounds like a child.
Post # 14
@Loulou22: DO you think she would be up for family counseling?
I get it, it’s really hard. My Mother-In-Law can be like that at times (WEIRD!!! She called my husband’s penis his “Little Mister” once. Hahah, I’m cracking up just thinking about. Hopefully you can at least get a laugh at my expense!).
I think you need to start to understand that there are a lot of things you can’t control, especially when it comes to family and ILs. What you can control is how you respond to it (sounds so cliche, but Lord if it isn’t true!). You have to commit to accepting this and live it and believe it. Otherwise you will make yourself crazy with anxiety and worry. Which is unwarranted and totally not worth it.
If your Mother-In-Law wants her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, too bad Mother-In-Law. “MIL, I appreciate your concern but I will not choose SIL to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Given our past, I hope you can understand. Ultimately this is my choice and it’s not up for discussion.” END IT THERE! No need to explain or give all your reasons why your SIL is the devil and she shouldn’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. That’s it. And understand and ACCEPT that some choices (espcially a choice like this) comes with consequences. But hold your head up high and DO NOT reneg. You will catch heat for not asking her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Oh well! It’s the lesser of two evils, right? Because the other option would be giving in and having this psycho-nut case who doesn’t like you standing by you on your day? No thanks, I’ll take the alternative!
Post # 15
Ugh, sounds awful. Just ignore her and hope for the best. The whole situation sounds ridiculous 🙁
Post # 16
@JemmaWRX: I also want to add… sometimes you have to take PERSONAL SATISFACTION in knowing YOU did the right thing, that YOU are the better person, that YOU are the sane one. Not everyone is going to recognize it or appreciate it or give you an “Atta girl” with a pat on the back. You need to take solace in knowing you’ve tried to make things right. Beyond that, the ball is in her court.