(Closed) FSIL horrors and how you deal with them

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aw, wow, I’m sorry you’re going thorugh this.  Your own advice was the best, basically, just grin and bear it.  It sucks, but the alternative could turn out to be much worse.  After the wedding and all that stress dies down, maybe confront her about it, but to keep the peace for now, I’d probably just try to brush it off.

I have no advice from experience for you, since I get along great with my Future Sister-In-Law.  Sorry!

Post # 4
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I have a Future Sister-In-Law that we all dislike. It just happens to be my oldest brother’s girlfriend/fiancee/whatever. She’s overly opinionated, condescending, rude and a know-it-all. She also drinks too much. She got drunk on Christmas Eve this year and told my cousin that she was a bad mother, all her kids problems were her fault, her husband is an idiot and she should divorce him, etc. Yeah… she’s a really gem.

BUT, you do need to play nice for the sake of your Future Brother-In-Law. Just smile to her face and minimize contact as much as possible. Don’t confront her, that will just make you the bad guy.

Post # 5
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I avoid mine as much as possible. We engage in plesantries but sicne she backed out of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man without telling me, I just lost all trust in her and desire to form my own relaitonship with her. She is my DH’s sister so I do feel I have to respect her and do not want to cause a problem. We chat on facebook at times, I pick out thoughtful presents for her at Christmas, gush over her new apartment and generally maintain a superficial relationship. I was sad at first as I have always wanted a sister but then I realized that I already have freinds who are much more like sisters to me than she is so I stopped putting in the effort. I also realized she is family no matter what I do so we better have a working relationship. It took me over a year to get to this place though so don’t worry if it takes time to form a relationship in your comfort zone.

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I had a Future Sister-In-Law like that, I would just limit my contact with her. Just don’t talk to her on Gchat or anywhere else you are alone and don’t have a third party witness.

My Future Sister-In-Law doesn’t always understand me, and when she repeats things I say to my Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law it doesn’t always come out the right way and they get upset. So I have just learned to be really careful about what I say. She’s a nice girl and doens’t do it intentionally,  but it does happen since we are so different.

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