Post # 1
sorrry ladies going to apologise already for my vent.. need to get it out
Last week I posted how I was torn with feeling obligated to go to my FSILs hens/bachelorette party as I received the invitation the day I had to RSVP and would have to drive 4hrs to get there and 4hrs to get back.
I decided not to go…. and i called up my brother to say that I wouldnt be going to the party however I am taking the day off work before their wedding to help with last minute plans, as well as take the photography…
since saying No to the bachelorette party, I recieved a phonecall from my brother at work to say ‘the commander (FSIL) has got a bee in her bonnet about you not going to her hens party and so now she doesnt want you to do the photography anymore) but I would really like you too and basically called her a nutter for taking this action, but he had to relay the message, even tho he necessarily didnt agree with it.
I said its ok, ill do what she wants and I understand. (i dont really understand but I gave in)
anyway well hell.. IM MAD! im mad that i said no, also im mad that they asked and then cancelled after I go out of my way, to practice on weekends, ask a photography friend to help. send them piccies of the work and recieve good feedback from Future Sister-In-Law and brother and then tell one week before the wedding not to worry about doing it.
they put me through stress just to turn around and say dont worry?
FRUSTRATED… sorry bees to post it but I needed to rant, I called my FH and apparently he is calling my brother to talk about it. I was too emotionally pissed off to handle it.
Post # 3
Sorry to hear about all the stress and pain!
Does your Future Sister-In-Law have a lot of friends? Maybe she’s worried that no one will come to her party…
Post # 4
I would remind them that it’s not a hop and skip away. And the last minute timing of the invite arriving doesn’t exactly let you plan accordingly. Can’t blame you, especially since she seems to be taking this too extreme in my opinion.
Post # 5
Im not sure, I dont really hang out with her at all as we live four hours away and Ive only met her a few times, I felt obligated to go to her party as I havent really socialised with her much and I felt the need to go get some girl time with her.. but logistics and bills had me saying no and the drive. So i had arranged to take the day off work before the wedding to help her with things and basically it sucks that she has responded this way and I havent done anything to provoke it. (well I dont feel as tho i have)
Post # 6
Wow after reading this and your other post about her she sounds……umm interesting. Albany to Perth is a huge drive (I’m assuming she’s in Perth based on the 4 hour drive), especially just for one night and I think that any sane and rational person would see that your reasons are very valid. I agree with Mr Bee though, maybe she is scared of having nobody at the party….if this is how she treats everyone maybe it would explain why she is scared of that.
I hope this situation starts to get less stressful for you. Have a wine, relax and spend time on yourslef. Don’t let her pettyness get you too down (even though you may want to stab her in the eye with a sharp pencil!!).
Post # 7
*sharpens her 12 pack of pencils*
ive had a few glasses of wine.. I got another phonecall from my brother and he gave another apology… I said call me in an hour and Ill be willing to talk.. I needed time to think.
Post # 8
oh my, thats pretty extreme. 4hrs is a lot to drive, especially so close to the wedding. so sorry this is so stressful! i’d be mad too
Post # 9
Did he explain to her that you can’t go because 1) you received your invitation LATE and 2) it’s a FOUR hour drive? and 3) you don’t really drink
she’s being petty. Maybe you could talk directly with her instead of making your bro being the poor messenger? She might not be so direct/mean if she has to say it directly to you (on the phone)!
Post # 10
Umm..passive aggressive much having your brother be the one to call you. If she really has an issue she should be the one talking to you, not having your poor brother get stuck in the middle, I mean, you are going to be family! Honestly, I would say give her a call, or if she has your brother call you again, have him tell her that you’d like to speak to her directly to explain why you can’t make it to the party. Things get so misconstrued sometimes when they are communicated via third party. Maybe if you guys actually spoke to one another about it, she’d think differently. At any rate…girl needs to grow up!
Post # 11
Update: Just got off the phone with my brother:
Talked to my brother and I said I really dont know what her problem is but she needs an attitude check before the wedding and Im not holding this against her, Im over it. he actually agreed and I could hear her going ballistic in the background and my bro said he had to go and he was just saying that he doesnt know whats gotten into her in the last two weeks.
I just think im the target that she needs to vent at, I think shes stressed because she left so many things to the last minute and her and my brother have wedding issues.
I have to get over it, I have the next 30 or so years of her going to be in my life, If I dont get past her pettiness it could be a miserable future.
Forgive and Forget. (mind you I have had a 3/4s of a bottle of wine so this could be aiding my laid back attitude at the moment)
Post # 12
I can’t believe he’s even be putting up with it! If this is what she is like now, imagine what the rest of his married life is going to be like. I hope he is having one hell of a bucks night to say goodbye to not being permanently stuck to her!
Mmmmmm wine always helps to numb feelings. But, when that wears out remember you now have 12 really sharp pencils!
Post # 13
Is she annoyed because you called her brother to say you weren’t going? Cuz that would probably irritate me. I like people to call ME, not relay info through me.
That being said, if she puts her foot down about the photography, leave your camera home! Tough noogies!
Post # 14
Well I called my brother because I dont have her number and I had no idea who the people were that i had to rsvp on the invite, and I wanted to explain verbally why I couldnt go.. I thought thats more polite than sending a text to a random number.
Thatelisagirl: I dont think he will, my brother is a no nonsense kind of guy, fun loving, but he will put his foot down if he needs too, I sensed and with his words he sounded pretty pissed off with her.
I asked to talk to her but she didnt want to talk to me.
The Future Sister-In-Law is.. well unique..and you cant help who your brother loves right? Im sure with age shes 27 now by the time shes 55 she may mature?lol one can hold their breath. I dont like drama, and unfortunately im a sucker that goes out of their way to help people and when I get asked to do something I put 100 percent in. Im just annoyed at her approach.
*downs nother glass of wine* *empty bottle* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Post # 15
Charis, you make me so happy. I love how drama free you are, despite all the drama in your life. 🙂
Maybe it’s a good thing the bottle is empty….. just make sure you’ve got plenty of full ones to get you through the next two weeks!
Post # 16
Haha I can’t believe THAT’s what she chose to freak out about! That’s kind of an ungrateful, bratty thing to be mad about. Glad you’re talking it so well… you can’t change people, especially hormonal ones!