(Closed) FSIL is engaged, and we keep choosing the same things! (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would stop sharing things about your wedding with fsil and fmil.

how far apart are your weddings? i doubt anyone else will notice such small similarities…we’re talking about a cake topper and an invite that will end up in most people’s garbage cans.

Post # 4
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do you think it’s been coincidence, or that she has seen your ideas and just really likes them?

If coincidence, then she probably wants to find a solution to having such similar taste as much as you do!

I would jokingly ask if she wants to just have a joint wedding, and then seriously talk about things that are really important to you – maybe pick (different) colors or themes or whatever together, so you know you’ll be working in different directions, even though you have similar taste.

Post # 5
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh bummer. At least it doesn’t sound like she’s intentionally choosing the same things as you…just coincidence. I think that you should maybe have a conversation with her about it. Maybe she could be thinking the same thing as you are.

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You don’t have to disclose every single bit of information with her.  That’s why you have other BM’s and so does she.  And she’ll be busy planning her own.  I wouldn’t be too specific about anything.  I think that will help.  I wouldn’t suggest letting her see your irritation, it will just makes things worse… and you’re going to be related so really try your best to play it cool.

It’s hard because brides learn so much what’s new and hot thanks to the internet and it leads to these problems.  Chin up, hang in there : )

Post # 7
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that refraining from going into detail with your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law is a good idea if you’re feeling petty. It could very well have been a case of your fmil seeing the invites and thinking “oh those are nice” showing them to fsil and then going with them for her shower and not even thinking about it really.

There is only so much out there in the ‘wedding world’ to draw inspiration from, and if you find the two of you have similar tastes in other things then you can probably assume that you’ll like similar trends and ideas in the wedding world too.

Post # 8
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Future Sister-In-Law got engaged a few months after me too and is having her wedding a few months before me.  The only thing we’ve sort of picked out that we both like is accessories, and dark purple as a wedding color.  Nothing else will be remotely similar, but even if it were, I don’t think it’d bother me.  My wedding pictures and memories will still be mine, and its not like I’d have our wedding pictures up side by side or anything like that to see how similar it is.  People will soon forget little details like engagement party invites, don’t worry too much about it. 

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

i went with stop sharing, my Future Sister-In-Law got engaged bc we got engaged just so that everytime her mom talked about her son and i getting married we haved to make sure we include her!

so far the tried to find where he got my ring, printed off pic of my dress and went dress shopping looking for it, tried to scope out our ceremony site but i refused to give the address and said ill take the family when its closer to the date bc maybe id like to show them with fiance

so my advice keep things to yourself, tho now im getting word im not sharing anything about the wedding, but i just dont care ill share when im ready and when Future Sister-In-Law stops planning her wedding through me, believe it or not thats why they got engaged but we all have to be nice right?

Post # 11
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you’re chosing all the same stuff, you should do a double wedding! 1/2 the cost! Wink

 

Seriously though, I’ll echo what other bee’s have said say keep your wedding secrets to yourself just so you each can feel special about the small details.

Post # 14
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

CUTE cake topper!!!

The topic ‘FSIL is engaged, and we keep choosing the same things! (LONG)’ is closed to new replies.

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