(Closed) FSIL Is Not Invited to Our Super Small Wedding and Feels Left Out

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 151
Member
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Yeah, I’d be a bit annoyed if I were her too. We are eloping but we’re having absolutely no guests to avoid this problem. If we had been having any guests then it would be immediate family only. Family would have to be there over friends.

Post # 152
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

KoiKove :  Completely agree with this. I have had friends that I’m still in touch with but our bond is nowhere near what it was. I also have friends that I thought would be in my life forever and I have no idea where they are now. However, my parents, brother, sil, and nieces are all a big part of my life, just as they have been. I’m also excited to say that I’m gaining a wonderful family in my so’s family. I can’t even fathom leaving them out of our future wedding. 

Post # 153
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I really don’t see an issue with your intent. I think the issue was that you divulged the wedding aspect to people not invited. That’s kind of like rubbing salt in wounds for people that place a lot of importance on weddings. If you had just kept it as a vacation, did it while there, and then came back…things probably would haven’t had been so dramatic. 

However, that’s off the table so…personally, it’s your wedding and I think you should celebrate it how you wish. I wouldn’t cancel the ceremony or trip. I think offering to host a reception once you return for close family is a good idea if you want to try to calm the waters.

It wouldn’t bother me if a sibling made plans that didn’t include me for their wedding. However, my siblings and I were never close to begin with. I would be happy for them all the same and give them well wishes for their marriage. It doesn’t sound like your Fiance is close to his sister. However, she is entitled to feel disappointed by the choice. The possible outcome is her choosing to distance herself relationship wise but it sounds like you all are distanced already…so, I wouldn’t let it get to you unless you truly are hoping for a closer relationship (then inviting her would help that). Your fiancé isn’t upset over it or concerned. If your parents were going and were upset then I might see it a little differently but it sounds like they’re supportive. Being invited to someone’s wedding doesn’t mean they are owed an automatic invite to yours.

I think what a lot of people do not realize is not every family is tight knit or connected closely. Likewise, some friendships and not blood related relationships are stronger than our blood relationships. There’s nothing wrong with that and it doesn’t make you selfish. It’s okay to not want to try for a closer relationship with someone that you just don’t feel connected to. It doesn’t mean you don’t respect them or want to have a cordial relationship in the general sense.

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