(Closed) FSIL- its long, sorry.

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would just let her know that it’s time to order the dresses and let her know when she’s available to order them. She may be heartbroken that you didn’t ask.  I would also tell her that you understand that she can’t do it especially with the baby and the logistics behind that. I know M’s sister (also a bm) would be heartbroken if I didn’t ask her to be in the wedding or if I asked her to step down, you know what I mean?  Just let her know you want her to be comfortable and you don’t want to add any stresses to her.

Post # 5
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should give her the out.  Sounds like she wanted to decline in the first place.  I would call her up and say:

“Hey Future Sister-In-Law, we found some great dresses for the BMs, but I am a little worried about the price.  I know that since having your son money may be a little tight, and I know that you may not be comfortable being in the wedding when you have a nursing infant.  If you don’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man anymore, please let me know, I completely understand.  I want you to be there for our big day, but I don’t want to impose on you.  I want you to enjoy the day too!”

It gives her the chance to say thanks, and decline to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If she doesn’t, then you can corner her with “Oh, great!  Well the dresses cost $X and I need you to go in and get measured and pay by Wednesday because the dresses need to be ordered this week in order for them to arrive in time for the wedding.”  If she doesn’t get it done by Wednesday, then it’s her fault that she doesn’t have a dress, and you can simply say you’re sorry she couldn’t be included.

Post # 6
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ask her again, but instead of asking “will you be in my wedding” ask “would you like to be a bridesmaid or would you rather attend as a guest? I understand either way”.  You guys have a perfect built-in excuse if she doesn’t feel close enough – her new baby.  If you would rather not have her, emphasize the bridesmaid duties.  If you just want to be reassured that she really likes you, she might get totally happy and into the bridesmaid thing.  Or she might beg off and you won’t really know why, but that’s something you can work on in the future.  Any way it goes, you’ll at least have the peace of mind of knowing you only have supportive people standing with you on your wedding day. 

The topic ‘FSIL- its long, sorry.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors