(Closed) FSIL just plain doesn’t like me and I’m putting in tons of effort

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Do you know for a fact that she doesn’t like you?

Maybe she just doesn’t know you and doesn’t know what to say. Try getting info about her interests from your fiance; stuff she wouldn’t mind sharing. At least then you would know something about her and you might find that you both have something in common that will give you something to talk about.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i have a couple of sisters in laws and although we are always polite, friendly and helpful, we really dont have anything in common except for being married to family members so i dont see the need to persue a friendship

be polite, open and friendly but really, if there is no other basis for you to bond then i dont see the need to want to make it happen

goodluck

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

is this the Future Sister-In-Law that expects other family members to financially support her? if yes then thats why youre on her shit list…   once she knows you arent going to be sending her money then she has no reason to want to be your friend

some people are just spoilt, some are takers and their friendship really isnt 100% honest because they always have an agenda

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

oh dear… I know that im not going to be gettin along with my Future Sister-In-Law that my brother will marry,

I have absolutely nothing in common with her and when she comes over, she doesnt talk to me, even when shes in my house, she just sits there and talks to my brother. I find it really quite hard to have any communication with her even tho I put in the effort.

I hope in years to come she will thaw out and maybe we will have a proper conversation, but until then its kind of disappointing, I dont let it get me down tho. I just say thats just her.

Hopefully your new sister in law will be able too.

Fingers crossed!
 

Post # 9
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have the same situation.. Future Sister-In-Law come from complete different lives and don’t have a single thing in common. With that being said I leave most of the communication with her to my fiance and if we happen to ever bee in the same place (she lives on the other side of the country) I’m polite, try to engage her in conversation, etc. I gave up trying to have her be like a sister to me a long time ago.. For right now the best advice I can say is treat her like an aquaintance and hope that one day at the least she turns into a friend.

Post # 10
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I hate to say it this way, but there will always be those people who you just don’t get along with, even when you want to. I genuinely like my sisters-in-law; I have 4, but only see 3 frequently. However, I’m a major introvert and they’re extroverts. After a while of conversation, even when I’m really trying, I tend to get overlooked and ignored. I honestly think sometimes to that them, I’m just the quiet girl who married their brother.

All I’m going to do is try to get along with them the best that I can and see if it improves from there.

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

yes, distance def doesnt make it any easier.  when you think of your friendships with people, they usually are formed thru experiences or interests in common. so keep the communication happening and maybe in time there will be a bond but it will take time.

 

Post # 14
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe your Fiance can talk to her.  I don’t think ther’s anything you can do.  But he might be able to smooth things over with her.  However, if she’s angry because she wants you to support her, you might have to just let her wallow in anger.

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