- 3 years ago
Kind of a strange situation that I’m not sure how to handle anymore…
I’ve complained about my Future Sister-In-Law before and finally thought all issues had been resolved… well, sure enough, up pops another one.
For some background: My Future Sister-In-Law was married several years ago, about a year before my fiance and I started dating. Even though we were not dating at the time, we were good friends and I was his +1 to the wedding (again, strictly as friends). My fiance gifted his sister and her husband $100 as that’s all he could afford since he had just been laid off right before that. He was also standing up in their wedding and had to pay for his tux and other wedding-related activities which didn’t help with his financial situation at the time. Even though I did not know his sister well, or her husband at all, I also gifted them $100, as well as a bottle of very fancy, monogrammed champagne. I thought this was pretty nice considering I was JUST out of college, at a low-wage job, paying off student loans, and didn’t know Future Sister-In-Law very well yet.
Now my fiance’s and my wedding is in about 5 and a half months (omg!) and I get a text from Future Sister-In-Law the other day. Future Sister-In-Law tells me that her and her husband are going to buy the most expensive thing on our wedding registry ($600+) to gift us for the wedding. I tell her that is very generous but that she shouldn’t feel like she needs to gift us anything! Especially not something so expensive. I then tell her that we are just happy for her to be with us on our special day and that she agreed to stand up as one of my bridesmaids in the wedding.
She responds, “But you only get married once!” I told her, “Very true! But again, please don’t feel like you need to get us anything!” She says it’s no problem and the conversation was left there. I was very grateful and thought it was extremely nice of her to do that, especially since we didn’t expect to get that gift, and if we did, figured it would be from a group of people going in on it together.
Since this conversation, she keeps bringing it up in text messages to us and group texts with the rest of her family in a really rude way. She’s constantly going between bragging about the large amount of money she’s spending on us while comparing it to the “very little” amount of money we gifted her years ago and implying that we should “make it up to her” and step up to give her bigger gifts in the future. It’s gotten to the point where my fiance and I want to tell her just not to give us a gift at all! (Except, I’ve already told her not to in the initial conversation about the gift!)
According to our registry, the gift hasn’t been bought yet, so Fiance and I have considered taking it off the registry all together but we are afraid of it causing yet another issue with Future Sister-In-Law when she notices it’s not there anymore.
What do I do about this? Tell her that if she wants to get us the gift, then great, but there is no need for the rude comments? Try to tell her again just not to give us a gift at all? Delete the gift and pretend like someone else bought it already? (Ha.)
Thanks for reading, Bees.