FSIL rudely comparing her wedding gift vs. ours from years ago

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

underblueskies1016 :  I think most people aware of this conversation are wondering what the hell is wrong with her. I’d call her ass out. Ask point blank in the group text “Sorry Amy I’m a bit confused, are you asking us to reimburse you for the gift?” Keep asking her to clarify her snide remarks and let her dig her own grave with the subsequent answers.

If you want to go farther I would delete the gift and if she asks, play dumb and say “It sounded like you felt pressured to spend a lot of money on us and we felt really bad about it.  We didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Post # 3
365 posts
Helper bee

Omg. How tacky of her! I would not want a $600+ gift at the cost of someone holding it over my head for who knows how long. It doesn’t really sound like a gift at all… I don’t know much about wedding and gift giving etiquette but I’m fairly certain she’s doing it wrong. Not to mention how ungrateful she’s acting towards your very generous gifts. Sounds like she needs a reality check if she doesn’t already know how rude and mean she’s being. Totally innapropriate of her. 

Post # 4
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would delete it and if she says something about it mention “We decided that the cost was too great.” Someone will probably give you money. Buy it yourselves with that.

It would suck to get a lovely gift from such a bitch and then feel terrible every time you see or use it. Plus you will have to hear her mouth about it forever and ever. I would eliminate the chance for her to buy it.

She sounds like a total ass.

Post # 5
1272 posts
Bumble bee

Weird. I would just ignore her texts, just sounds like she wants to toot her own horn (for something she hasn’t even done yet). Stop feeding her need for attention.

Post # 6
4976 posts
Honey bee

underblueskies1016 :  Holy crap. $100 is a lot of money and I rarely give that much for a wedding as an individual unless were good friends. You might delete that item if they haven’t bought it yet and then add it back on and buy yourself with the discount you get after the wedding. Call her out. I would be blunt, are you complaining about our wedding gift? You can give it back off its not enough. And tell her you won’t accept a gift from her at all.

That or accept her gift and ignore hey comments. 

Post # 7
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

sweatergal007 :  haha right! I was thinking the same, I usually give like $40 if I know the couple well.. And I’m basically what she described, finishing up college and working about 35 hrs a week, so more than part time but still.. her gift was more than generous especially when she barely even know Future Sister-In-Law at the time. 

I would probably just delete it off the registry and if she asks, say it was not worth the money, just people being there would be a great gift! I have a feeling you will hear about this gift forever if you let them buy it. 

Post # 8
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Wow so obnoxious. If she does it again I would just say “My sincere apology that 200$ from two kids fresh out of college wasnt up to your standards. We hope you’ll forgive us, your highness. Dont bother with the gift”.

If she buys you the vitamix or whatever, return it and have them refund her CC.


Post # 12
128 posts
Blushing bee


TwilightRarity :  I liked this suggestion. Just remove it all together or see if you can hide it on the registry. I know some places give you a 10% off discount on all items remaining on your registry and that 10% could help to cut the costs a little bit (so if you delete it off your registry you may lose the chance at the discount). Also, even if you delete it she already knows you want it and could possibly buy it anyway. I’d still take that chance and hide the item on the registry.

Post # 13
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This doesn’t have to do with any kind of advice, but I really want to know what it is she said she’d buy you! I am trying to think of something you can register for that is $600…

In the group texts if she brings it up again, I’d say something like, “I told you SIL, it’s ok if you don’t get us anything! Your presence is enough! :)” 

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