(Closed) FSIL sent FI this message

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should FSIL stay in the wedding?
    Yes- You've already asked her : (20 votes)
    22 %
    Yes- She's FI's Sister! : (20 votes)
    22 %
    Nope she's crossed the line this time : (50 votes)
    54 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I hate that.  I had a similar problem with my Future Sister-In-Law.  She is 15, a brat, and lives 3 hours away with out any one ot bring her to wedding events, so I asked her to sing at the wedding with my two younger cousins.  She and my Mother-In-Law decided to harass my FH about it only 6 weeks from our wedding.  I was ready to disinvite both of them! Luckily my FH was very supportive and talked to them rationally and stood up for us and our choice.  They will still be attending the wedding and she will still be singing, but I will not be having them spend any time with me prior to the ceremony with the bridesmaids or anything. 

    I am sorry you have to deal with this! If she doesn’t want to come then she should not come!!! I would tell her, “I am so sorry you don’t support us.  I would really have loved for us to be close, but you obviously do not.  Therefore, I think it would be better if you not participate in our sacred ceremony if you do not actually want to.”  Its better for people to just be honest.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    Heck no I wouldn’t put her in the wedding. What is she, 10? Chick needs a chill pill.

    Post # 5
    Member
    46413 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would leave things as is. It is never wrong to be the bigger person. She sounds like a bit of a drama queen to me.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I voted yes just because I feel like you should be the bigger person here.  It does sound like she’s being ridiculous here, but it sounds like it’s something that her and your Fiance need to deal with.  Does not sound fun though, best of luck to you!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1614 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Sorry lady…thanks but no thanks…no wonder your fiance isn’t bffs with her…

    Post # 9
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Ouch!! A little two-faced, isn’t she?

    How does your Fiance feel about the email?  As frustrating as it is, since it’s his family, I’d follow his lead with how to deal with her.

    I wonder if she’s jealous that all of his attention is on you and not her and the family. Are they the only two siblings?  Sometimes one sibling thinks the relationship is a lot closer than the other one thinks.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    wow – thats a whole lot of WTF in that email!

    all ive got to say is about this part:
    and just because I’m married and your engaged, doesn’t mean things need to change

    she is wrong – things DO change.  thats the point of growing up and moving on with life along your own path, we cant live in each others pocket making decisions by family committee forever, your spouse and you become your own family unit and there are some (a lot) of things that remain private between just the two of you.

    her email is rambling, one sentence saying we are family and the next a smack in the face – she sounds manipulative

    Post # 14
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If he doesn’t want to talk to her, I’d stop trying to make him. After he sets her straight on how he will no longer accept her sending those messages or talking about you like that.

    If she throws a tantrum, ignore her. Or pop popcorn and enjoy the show 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    7403 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If it was me she would so be out of our wedding. That may not be the most mature or diplomatic way to deal with it. Take your FH lead on this one. Either way she needs to apologize.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2086 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

    The best response is not to feed her more things to freak out about.  Be civil, keep her in the wedding, and be gracious when you see her. 

    The topic ‘FSIL sent FI this message’ is closed to new replies.

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