- 4 years ago
Went anonymous, just in case.
We are getting married in under 3 weeks, and are SO excited. Engagement has been amazing, and everything is going according to plan.
towards the beginning of the engagement, we defaulted to asking my Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid, and her boyfriend (since they are seriously talking about marriage) as a groomsmen. Let’s call them Jack and Jen. Jack is SUPER excited. He’s really happy to talk about the plans, and he is so appreciative to have been included, since Fiance will soon be his family, too. Jen is the opposite.
Jen has made it clear to us that she thinks weddings are stupid. Her words, not mine. When we talk at all about planning, she kind of scoffs and says how hers will be at a courthouse. I’m not opposed to that at all, but I despise her judgement, because she never stops there. She always goes on to say that we shouldn’t have spent so much, and we shouldn’t be putting so much energy into this.
I know what you’re all thinking: just don’t talk about it with her right? Right! Except she lives in Another state, and we only see her every couple of months, and we only see her when she’s with her parents. So I never bring anything wedding related up, but her mom is always asking me about stuff, and I would feel really rude just not answering. Song try to keep it short, but she always has more questions, and then Jen judges.
Flash forward to now. I’m basically wishing I hadn’t included her, but at this point asking her to be a guest instead of a bridesmaid would really just hurt my FIL’s more than anything else. We’re getting all our plans together for the wedding weekend, and I told her mom last night that I had booked a hotel months ago for myself and the maids the night before the wedding, and Jen knew about it. Today I get a text from Future Mother-In-Law saying “is it ok if Jen stays with us the night before the wedding instead of at the hotel? Thanks.” I didn’t want to cause any drama, so of course I just said sure.
What bothers me is that she wasn’t able to come to the bridal shower or bachelorette party, which I totally understand. But i really thought maybe she’d actually want to be included and spend time with us?! Apparently not, and my feelings are a little hurt.
I get it that this is not her wedding, but I feel like she should at least try to pretend to care! It’s her brother, for gosh sakes. I thought I was being nice including her, since she’s family, but I think this is the one thing I will always regret about my wedding.
Im leaving out some other stories. So. Vent over for now ): anyone have anything similar?