(Closed) FSIL wants to announce her pregnancy at our wedding…

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 61
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
Yipeebee :  it’s good to hear your voice on the boards again!

Post # 63
Member
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
underblueskies1016 :  I don’t think you’re wrong to ask her not to use a bridesmaid speech to announce a major milestone in her life. You get one day…and this literally IS your one day.

If she goes through with it, I like @pinkshoes idea of having the next speech not-so-subtly remind everyone of the real purpose of the speeches.

Post # 64
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If my Future Sister-In-Law wanted to announce her pregnancy I wouldn’t have a problem with it. More happiness and joy on a happy and joyful day. But it’s your wedding, your choice. And the way she reacted was completely over the top and inappropriate. Does she have trouble respecting boundaries in general? I hope she calms down but honestly she sounds like a wacko. 

Post # 65
Member
9944 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
underblueskies1016 :  

Yeah, probably half the people  who need/want to  know  will in fact already know or have guessed  . Perhaps you can preempt it at the rehearsal dinner with   ” and I know Future Brother-In-Law and  Future Sister-In-Law have an important announcement to make tonight…. ”  

Otherise, meh, let it go , nothing much will happen esp if the next speech doesn’t build on it.  Just have a pleasant smile on your face and it will be over in minutes . .  

Post # 66
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

Your Future Sister-In-Law sounds like my SIL- thinking the world revolves around them even if they’ve had their day!

I moved my SIL to the table farthest from the mic, gave explicit instructions to all of the staff that if she got near a mic to stop her, and didn’t let her sit with close family in hopes they wouldn’t encourage her horrible behavior as they do the rest of the year. 

Best of luck to you, I hope she comes to her senses!

Post # 67
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I had a very similar situation.. my now SIL found out she was pregnant early last year and told DH’s family about 1 week before our wedding. While we haven’t always gotten along with them we were happy for her and DH’s brother. We were however a little worried that they would announce it at our wedding to the rest of our family and friends since they usually love to steal the spotlight from us and cause drama, they assured us before we even had a chance to ask them that they would wait until the day after our wedding to anounce it to everyone… 

She couldn’t even wait until the start of our reception to announce it.. from the time DH and I made our entrance until everyone went home we had people coming up to tell us that dear SIL shared her news. While it didn’t ruin my day I wish she had waited, the day was about DH and I, not her. 

Post # 68
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

She can have 2 seats. She can either agree to wait an extra day, or accept that I’d be telling everyone the day before my wedding

Post # 69
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

It’s also going to come off as really weird to everyone if she gets up to toast the happy couple and proceeds to make an announcement about herself, especially if she’s clearly showing by that point. 

Anyone who sees her will know she’s pregnant and family members will all likely congratulate her without her awkwardly drawing attention to her bump. Surely you don’t begrudge her their congratulations, just the unnecessary announcement in her speech?

You’re saving her embarrassment by preventing her from acting in bad taste, honestly. 

Post # 70
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Daisy_Mae :  From underblueskies1016 :  description of her Future Sister-In-Law it sounds like you are right, she won’t be able to keep it in the bag and she will be showing, so she’ll look like an idiot for annoucing the obvious, like she is purposefully attention seeking.

Additionally, I think broadly most people agree that it is selfish to use someone else wedding day to announce big news of your own. So she will look selfish and silly even if it isn’t obvious.

If she does do it on your wedding day anyway, just try to remain relaxed and have the knowledge that most people will just think she’s been selfish to do this on your day. You will come off the better person that you’ve taken the high road.

Post # 71
Member
1858 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’ve just recently miscarried and I am a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man in 2 weddings next year. If I was to fall again around either of those I would never, ever consider ‘announcing’ it at either wedding.

Just because I had a shitty experience does not give me the right to take away from either of my girls on their day. It is not about me in any way, shape or form and I think it’s gross to make someone’s wedding day about yourself after the bride and groom have asked you not to. 

Also, it’s kind of like she’s taking the piss. Last pregnancy she announced at 7 weeks on social media, so not just friends but any random that came across it and this time it HAS to be at 20 weeks at your wedding? Bitch please. 

Post # 72
Member
487 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure she will forget about this idea when she looks in the mirror getting dressed on the day and realises it’s obvious. If family don’t know already they will probably start congratulating her in conversation as soon as they first see her. 

If not, well I think at every party and wedding, there had to be someone who does some weird thing or embarrasses themselves. And often this moment does come during the speeches. It’s like the law or something. Otherwise what will your guests have to gossip about on their way home!

Post # 73
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

Hi there! I didn’t have time to read all the responses so sorry if this is repeating what others have said, but I have 2 suggestions:

 

1. Let her announce it in her speech in a way that’s like, “To those of you I haven’t spoken to yet, yes I’m pregnant and so excited to be starting a family! Family is so important, and I’m so glad to have so and so as my *official* sister in law now, blah blah blah”

2. In the part of your own speeches where you thank everyone, you be the one to mention it. “Thanks to all my bridesmaids who look beautiful today, espeically SIL who is looking *particularly* glowing! We want to congratulate you and DH on the exciting news of your pregnancy! Thanks also to mum and dad etc etc etc”

 

What do you think about that?

Post # 74
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t know if this has been said yet but, to get the point across, would she appreciate you announcing a pregnancy in the middle of her wedding? Probably not. If she’s the kind of person that would want to do something like this (in such poor taste) then one would assume were the tables reversed she would probably have a conniption had you suggested announcing something about yourself on her special day.

Post # 75
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: The Hayloft

I’ve always thought doing any kind of big announcement at wedding is incredibly selfish and rude. Not a huge fan of engagements either at weddings unless the bride and groom are totally okay with it. You guys have spent a lot of time, energy and money towards this day and it is supposed to be a celebration of you! I would definitely encourage the rehearsal dinner idea, but people will likely already know when they see her as others have said.

I know she’s angry but it’s just not an appropriate time or place to announce.

The topic ‘FSIL wants to announce her pregnancy at our wedding…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors