(Closed) FSIL wants to be a part of the wedding

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

There are a lot of non-religious readings. This is an awesome thread on Indie Bride with a TON of ideas:

http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=msg&th=2271&start=0&rid=0&S=d01425e020d195ca944c87c8f54da093 

<span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-family: arial; font-size: 13px”><em style=”font-style: normal; text-decoration: inherit”>Union by<em style=”font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; text-decoration: inherit”> <em style=”font-style: normal; text-decoration: inherit”>Robert Fulghum is a popular one that I’m thinking of using for instance.

Post # 4
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Could you have a non-religious reading?  I’ve seen a lot of bees use beautiful poems or readings from a longer text on love, marriage, commitment, etc… that have nothing to do with religion.

We don’t have a bridal party at all, but I invited all our sisters to do "bridal party" things like go to the salon to get our hair and maekup done, get ready in the bridal room, walk down the aisle in the processional (escorting my Grandma), etc…  Would something like this work for you?

Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

A passage from Shakespeare would also be beatiful! And I agree with Mrs. Spring–try to include her in other wedding related things 🙂

Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We’re doing two non-religious readings in our wedding…one from the Mass same-sex marriage court opinion (we’re both attorneys so it seemed fitting to use a legal opinion ) and the other is called Benediction of the Apaches. There are tons of suggestions all over the Internet…just find one that seems appropriate for you and your Fiance.

GL!

Post # 7
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

wait.. am I reading this correctly? She’s 17 and married?

Regardless, I can see where she would want to be involved. Even if you’re not very close to her, it’s her brother and it’s a good thing she wants to be involved in some way. Since she’s going to school for cosmetology, you could involve her in the planning of hair and make-up? Maybe you could ask her for her opinion, send a few inspirational pictures you like, and you could connect that way. It might make you closer and give her a feeling of importance to you. I think a reading is a great way to honor someone special, so that would work as well.

Post # 9
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If I were in your position, I would go ahead and invite her to be a bridesmaid: I’ve always heard this is the most appropriate place for FSILs. Maybe you could work some things out with her as far as costs or see if your in laws would be willing to pick up her tab. BUT if you decide that isn’t right for you guys, I agree that having her do a reading would be a good option: I’m sure you could find plenty out there, maybe even from a favorite book of yours. I would definitely make sure to include her in bridal showers/bachelorette parties/etc!

Post # 11
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I can see why she’s upset if her brother is in the wedding and she isn’t. Isn’t there any way you could fit her in? Maybe her mother could help her pay for the dress?

 

17 and married? Really? Poor thing. I couldn’t imagine! You’re supposed to be going to prom. 

Post # 12
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Sure, I just googled "non-religious wedding readings" and came up with a whole slew of options. Just a few:

http://community.livejournal.com/weddingplans/14459891.html

<font color=”#0000ff”>http://www.plan-your-wedding-ceremony.com/wedding-readings.html</font>

<font color=”#0000ff”>http://www.plan-your-wedding-ceremony.com/humorous-wedding-readings.html</font>

<font color=”#0000ff”>http://www.bestweddingsreadings.com/Civil-Wedding-Reading.html</font>

Post # 13
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I would ask her to do a fun reading, something that will highlight that moment (like the ONLY reading) so she feels included and special.

I wasn’t a part (at all) of my brother’s wedding, although my other brother was his Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I didn’t feel upset about it at all.  And I didn’t even think about it until now…

Post # 14
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Dude, 17 and married and in cosmetology school?

Seriously, make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Pay for the dress. This girl needs this in her life right now. She is missing out on so much fun and so many "I’m special" moments. Do it. This is an investment in your future!

I know that right now, buying one more dress seems crazy, but take a step back.  What’s a $200 dress in the big scheme of things? She isn’t a random friend who might slip out of your life. This is your future sister. Building a family is exactly what a wedding is about, not who has the cutest knick knacks or the best food. Do it.

Post # 15
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think you’ve gotten some wonderful suggestions. I just wanted to emphasize that you should include her in some capacity, and I know you’ve said you want to, so please do. It may not matter to everyone, but it’s nice to be involved in family weddings.

Post # 16
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t think you’re obligated to make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man as others have suggested. I’m actually in the same kind of boat. Both of my FI’s brothers are his groomsmen, and his niece is the flower girl. My Future Sister-In-Law isn’t in the wedding to this capacity, but she is going to do a non-religious reading at the wedding. I think that’s something small, but should definitely be meaningful to her.

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