Post # 1
The very first time we went to check out our wedding venue, I went with my parents, sister and his Future Mother-In-Law, Future Father-In-Law, Future Sister-In-Law and his brother and his wife. While we were doing the tour, his sister inquired about where she and her family (her mom, aunt, her sister in law, and my mother in law) would change their outfits on the wedding day. I was very surpised because I didn’t know that they planned to swap outfits. They plan on wearing saris to the wedding ceremony and switching to dresses for the reception. I said I didn’t know, maybe they could change in the venue bathroom. (huge bathroom with actual changeroom attached). They didn’t seem super pleased about that, and asked to change in the bridal suite. I was was caught off guard, and said no, it’s going to be pretty full. During dinner that evening, my Future Sister-In-Law said, “If I don’t have somewhere to change, I won’t be coming to the wedding.” I was really taken aback, although she tried to position it like she was joking. That was in June. Fast forward seveal months, no one has bought it up since.
Today, my FH was talking to her on the phone, and told me that she and his sister in law were very upset because they had nowhere to change on the wedding day. No one had mentioned this to me since JUNE and I thought we were over this. He says because my mom gets to change in there and my sister, why can’t his family change in there too?
Now, his sister and aren’t that close and she really stresses me out about my body (always asking when I’m going to go on a diet or lose weight for the wedding). Having her in my private space on that busy/stressful day causes me anxiety! My bridesmaids (MOH is my sister) mother and I will be getting ready in the room in the morning. His sister will be getting ready at her house. They want the room before the reception. This is the time that I will be doing an outfit switch in the room for the reception and a make up touch up. I don’t want his whole family going in and out of the bridal change room. I want to use that room as a quiet space to hang out in when I need a break, or to steal my future hubby for a kiss.
Am I being super selfish about sharing the room? Am I the only one that feels like the bridal changing room should be for the bride and who she chooses to share it with?? I feel like changing in the washroom should be fine, or I could even find a different room for them to change in, but they seem deadset on getting the bridal changing room. Help!
Post # 2
Maybe it’s annoying, but I don’t see this being that big of a deal to cause family issues over it. I can’t imagine you’ll actually be in the dressing room all that much since I’m assuming you’ll want to be out actually enjoying your wedding.
Post # 3
manga : —> Bathroom or nothing.
Post # 4
Since the restroom has an actual changing room, there is no reason they can’t use that. She is not the bride – this is not her wedding!! It’s called the “bridal” suite for a reason. That’s your stress-free safe space and the less people you have going in and out, the better.
Post # 5
Just let them change there. It couldn’t take that long? As long as they aren’t loitering in there making you feel stressed then it shouldn’t be too bad. Ps. She sounds so annoying xo
Post # 6
Just find them another room if that is possible, to avoid drama?:)
Post # 7
manga : there are just several things I don’t understand here.
1) you were surprised they wanted to change, but you’re planning to change? So why is it surprising they want to change?
2) Future Sister-In-Law requested a spot to change, you never figured that out, and now you’re suprised she’s upset this hasn’t been resolved?
the bridal suite is your suite to do with as you like. But it does seem like you’ve brought some of this on yourself through poor communication (just ignoring the situation and figuring they’ll get over it) and failing to think about the needs of your FI’s family in your planning. Find a room that’s not the bathroom they can change in.
Post # 8
I don’t see why it would matter if they change in there. It will be like 5 minutes out of the night. Tell them they can’t change until you are done and that they won’t be allowed back in the room after. Seems like everyone can be happy here.
Post # 9
Ha, I’d honestly let them have it and get changed somewhere else!
Post # 10
If they want a room to change in I think they should find one and pay for one themselves. It’s not part of the wedding that they have to change its their choice. You also chose to change, but are paying for the use of the bridal suite. Also you are the bride, they’ll get over it. You will remember that day forever.
Post # 11
I’m a firm no on this one. That’s five extra people and they all sound overbearing. They asked for an option and you gave it to them – the changeroom in the restroom.
The nerve of some people… this reminds me of the poor other bee whose Maid/Matron of Honor asked her to give up that bridal suite for her!
Post # 12
I would say they can use the room after the bridal party and you are done changing. That way it isn’t too crowded and you don’t have to be in there at the same time.
Post # 13
So, you gotta find the way to let them in the room that does not freak you out.
Why not erect a room divider between the non-bridal changing and bridal changing area. Nothing obnoxious, but you could justify it in the name of modesty for them. Put a bottle of champagne and glasses on their side, maybe a chair or two. A few hangers, lint roller, anti-static spray. So, it looks like you are making them a comfortable space. You get privacy and they get to be in the room.
Divider frame: https://roomdividersnow.com/products/freestanding-room-divider-stands?gclid=Cj0KEQjwqtjGBRD8yfi9h42H9YUBEiQAmki5OqUDtXJkysN0V658BcxqBkYZFvBHzBXlCXsJEgZ3oN4aAibv8P8HAQ
Use canvas drop cloths from a big-box home goods store for the fabric.
Here’s a pinterest board to give you some ideas. https://www.pinterest.com/explore/fabric-room-dividers/
Post # 14
It sounds kind of petty to deny them what is a very small favor in the grand scheme of things.
Post # 15
Sometimes when I read questions here I wonder how life will be for the brides if/when some REAL PROBLEM befalls them?
My personal favorite quote is fast becoming “It’s not the hill to die on”.
And then add “Live and let live”.