(Closed) FSIL wants to wear swimsuit cover-up to wedding

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
127 posts
Blushing bee

I think it would definitely be better coming from you. You could try on outfits and dresses and then say, "Wow, that would be perfect to wear to my wedding!" Make sure you let her know that you want her to look like the beautiful, classy woman you know she’s hiding.

Post # 4
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Yikes…this is a sticky situation! A bathing suit cover up? Seriously?? I feel awful for you, but I can’t help but laugh at the thought.

I would suggest you offer to take her shopping on your own. Especially since Future Mother-In-Law has already made it known that she’s  not the most liked member of the family and already disapproves of her dressing habits. Maybe if you take her, she’ll take it to heart and actually wear something a little more classy…

Good luck! I hope it all works out!

Post # 5
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’m guilty of not liking how my Mother-In-Law dresses.  So I asked her to go dress shopping for my wedding, saying that I love dress shopping and would be happy to tag along when she goes.  I asked her if I could help her pick out some dresses since I wanted to see lots of different styles on her, thankfully she was open to the suggestion.  The day was long, but we had fun and bonded.  Ultimately she decided on a gorgeous dress that I picked out.

I would invite your Future Sister-In-Law out shopping make a day out of it, be sure to buy some items for youself.  Take her to a store that you know has nicer dresses (Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Nordstrom)  Sometimes you can get great deals on sale or on the clearance rack.  Say that it will give you guys a chance to hang out together. 

Post # 6
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I agree, invite Future Sister-In-Law on a shopping spree.  In fact, make it about you and then encourage her to try on dresses too after you get there, then maybe she won’t feel like you’re in disapproval of her too.

Post # 7
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Honestly, with someone so clueless, I’d probably bridezilla this one out… "That’s a swimsuit coverup, not a cocktail dress. Do you have a little black dress you can wear?" (Unless you’re superstitious about the "no-black-at-weddings" rule, in which case a little navy dress or a little brown dress or whatever would work.)

Post # 8
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Seriously, can we please, pleeeease have a Mother-In-Law Hall of Fame gallery for these outfits? Ok, ok, that would be bad in case they ever saw it, but really, this is like the tenth post I’ve seen on this exact issue! What is it with FMILs wanting to show up in hoochie-wear! Is this some kind of psychological phenomenon when your son gets married?

Post # 9
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

OMG a bathing suit coverup???!!! Why wouldn’t she want to buy  a new dress for her brothers wedding? just tell her your wedding is offically cocktail attire. She’ll probably end up in a  black hooker dress anyway but at least that is better than a bathing suit cover up.

Post # 10
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

haha Rose999 I was thinking the same thing!  Ive seen some seriously "WTF is she wearing" outfits, Id LOOOOVE to see a hall of fame!

Post # 11
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with worcesterbride about calling her out – you could even do it in a joking tone, then ask her if she’d like to come shopping with you. Lie and say you saw something recently at Nordstrom that would look great on her!

You could also ask her to be a bridesmaid! Then she will have to wear what you’ve already selected!

Or, you could be totally passive aggressive , let her wear whatever the heck she wants and just ask the photographer/videographer to avoid her. Say "Okay, now one with just the brothers.." you catch my drift. I’m sure it won’t be the first time they’ve gotten instructions like that!

Post # 12
7 posts

There is definitely a tactful way to get your point accross.  I would agree in that you should take her shopping. Suggest options for her to try on.  When she tries them on praise her for wonderful it looks.  Humans learn most quickly from positively enforced behavior.  Try not to criticize, seems like you are doing a great job of that so far! 

Post # 13
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Yikes….I would invite her shopping and tell her that you want to get a dress for your (shower, rehearsal dinner, brunch, whatever you can think of) and see if maybe she wants to go shopping for a dress for (one of these events) too?  Then while you are there suggest stuff she can wear to the wedding.

Post # 14
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

LOL!! I know i shouldnt laugh, but what IS the deal with the crazily dressed MILs and SILs…I agree with all the other posters…suggest a girls shopping trip. 

So can we see a pic of the cover up?  LOL!!!  Seriously…a cover up?  To a wedding?

Post # 15
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Invite her shopping with you, just you or you and a friend of yours and you can all try stuff on and when you find something fabulous for her, encourage her to wear it. Or, as other posters have said, make sure the camera avoids her!

Or, next time you’re at the pool, make sure to spill something like red wine on her "dress".

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