(Closed) FSIL Wedding – Feeling left out

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3610 posts
Sugar bee

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futuremrsherron:  That’s not nice. I think your Fiance should say something. Assuming the Bridal Party, including your Fiance, is sitting at the head table with the B&G sans their dates, you should at least be put at the same table as your FI’s parents.

Post # 3
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee

It’s really lame of them to exclude you.  Let your fiance know he needs to straighten things out.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
10348 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Your Fiance needs to be the one to handle this. Seems like it would be pretty easy to say “Hey, I saw the seating chart and I think 

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futuremrsherron would feel more comfortable sitting with the family rather than people she doesn’t know”  

Post # 5
Member
13904 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah it sucks, but take it as an opportunity to meet more of your FI’s family that you may not have otherwise had the chance to meet. 

Post # 6
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh gosh.. that really sucks.

I’m not too sure if anything should be said because at the end of the day it is their wedding and they can have the seating chart how they want but I would be really hurt too.

I’m sorry bee.

Post # 7
Member
7490 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I too would be upset. It’s up to you and your Fiance if you want to push it–fortunately most of the event is not usually spent sitting in assigned seats. 

Post # 8
Member
3764 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Kinda agree with 

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JiminyCricket:  . It could be a great chance to get to know the extended family. 

It really does suck that you aren’t being seated with your Fiance and I absolutely think that having you two seated together is the right thing to do. That being said I don’t think you should confront Future Sister-In-Law about it. If her and Future Brother-In-Law agreed on the seating arrangement then that’s sort of their choice. Who knows, maybe that aunt made demands about wanting to sit at their table and they caved to her. Once the dinner is over people usually sit where they want anyway so it would only be for that time. It’s crappy but there could be a lot of people pleasing they are trying to do when it comes to seating that you may not be aware of.

Post # 9
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

Very rude.  Your Fiance needs to fight this battle for you and let them know how slighted he feels having his Fiance relegated to the outliers table. It’s an insult to him as well as you both as a unit, they should be ashamed but maybe they are clueless.

Post # 10
Member
3232 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

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futuremrsherron:  So are the bride and groom sitting with FI’s parents/the bride’s parents/and fiance? I am kind of confused – you said there is no sweetheart table, but is there a head table? The rude part is you not sitting with your Fiance (your other “half” of the social unit), it’s not rude to not put you at the table with his immediate family, but yeah it is rude to separate the two of you. 

Post # 11
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

That sucks that they’re splitting you guys up, but I wouldn’t assume the aunt at the head table is some random filler. Maybe someone who is footing a bill or two insisted she be there, or the couple wants to her honor her, or they know she’ll throw a fit if she’s not there, or she may have an anxiety attack if she’s not around people she knows, or…

I would prod your Fiance into finding out if bumping you off the A List was a simple oversight, or if it’s possible to put you next to him–or him next to you.

Post # 12
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t blame you for feeling left out. When planning our seating chart, we tried to seat people with people they knew the best. In a few cases of single guests that didn’t know anyone very well, we sat them with people we thought they’d get along with the best/have the most fun with. Hopefully that is the case here and the people you are with will end up embracing you and making you feel comfortable, if it ends up this way. As others have said, have your Fiance talk to his brother and if they don’t budge, not a big deal – it’s just for dinner. What about sitting with the dates of the other Bridal Party members?

Post # 14
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, it sucks, but after your explanation, it makes sense. Sorry. 

Post # 15
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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futuremrsherron:  yeah that sucks. I am pro head table but you need to take great care to place the bridal party dates amongst people they know. Im assuming the aunt is the sibling of your DHs parents? I could see how they would defer to their siblings over their sons Fiance but it’s a shame they didn’t place you there or with people you know. 

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