Post # 1
So my Future Brother-In-Law is getting married next month. My fiancé is his best man and I am not in the wedding party. I have helped them with a quite a bit in getting the wedding put together and arranging everything. Yesterday I found out that I am not even being seated with his family. I am placed with random extended family I don’t even know at the very back of the Venue. There is no sweetheart table so I had just assumed I would be sitting with my fiancés parents, Future Sister-In-Law and her husband and the grandmas. Instead they decided to put an aunt to fill in the extra spot at the family table and put me at the back. I feel very hurt with this decision. Makes me feel like I’m not apart of the family. When I told my fiancé this and asked how his family would feel if we left his Future Sister-In-Law (girl getting married to his brother) out of the family table he said they would NEVER allow that to happen. But no one cares that I’m left out at all. I haven’t said anything because I’m dont want any drama. Just wanted to vent about feeling left out and wondering if anyone else would feel the same way about this.
Post # 2
That’s not nice. I think your Fiance should say something. Assuming the Bridal Party, including your Fiance, is sitting at the head table with the B&G sans their dates, you should at least be put at the same table as your FI’s parents.
Post # 3
It’s really lame of them to exclude you. Let your fiance know he needs to straighten things out. Good luck!
Post # 4
Your Fiance needs to be the one to handle this. Seems like it would be pretty easy to say “Hey, I saw the seating chart and I think futuremrsherron
would feel more comfortable sitting with the family rather than people she doesn’t know”
Post # 5
Yeah it sucks, but take it as an opportunity to meet more of your FI’s family that you may not have otherwise had the chance to meet.
Post # 6
Oh gosh.. that really sucks.
I’m not too sure if anything should be said because at the end of the day it is their wedding and they can have the seating chart how they want but I would be really hurt too.
I’m sorry bee.
Post # 7
I too would be upset. It’s up to you and your Fiance if you want to push it–fortunately most of the event is not usually spent sitting in assigned seats.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Kinda agree with JiminyCricket:
. It could be a great chance to get to know the extended family.
It really does suck that you aren’t being seated with your Fiance and I absolutely think that having you two seated together is the right thing to do. That being said I don’t think you should confront Future Sister-In-Law about it. If her and Future Brother-In-Law agreed on the seating arrangement then that’s sort of their choice. Who knows, maybe that aunt made demands about wanting to sit at their table and they caved to her. Once the dinner is over people usually sit where they want anyway so it would only be for that time. It’s crappy but there could be a lot of people pleasing they are trying to do when it comes to seating that you may not be aware of.
Post # 9
Very rude. Your Fiance needs to fight this battle for you and let them know how slighted he feels having his Fiance relegated to the outliers table. It’s an insult to him as well as you both as a unit, they should be ashamed but maybe they are clueless.
Post # 10
So are the bride and groom sitting with FI’s parents/the bride’s parents/and fiance? I am kind of confused – you said there is no sweetheart table, but is there a head table? The rude part is you not sitting with your Fiance (your other “half” of the social unit), it’s not rude to not put you at the table with his immediate family, but yeah it is rude to separate the two of you.
Post # 11
That sucks that they’re splitting you guys up, but I wouldn’t assume the aunt at the head table is some random filler. Maybe someone who is footing a bill or two insisted she be there, or the couple wants to her honor her, or they know she’ll throw a fit if she’s not there, or she may have an anxiety attack if she’s not around people she knows, or…
I would prod your Fiance into finding out if bumping you off the A List was a simple oversight, or if it’s possible to put you next to him–or him next to you.
Post # 12
I don’t blame you for feeling left out. When planning our seating chart, we tried to seat people with people they knew the best. In a few cases of single guests that didn’t know anyone very well, we sat them with people we thought they’d get along with the best/have the most fun with. Hopefully that is the case here and the people you are with will end up embracing you and making you feel comfortable, if it ends up this way. As others have said, have your Fiance talk to his brother and if they don’t budge, not a big deal – it’s just for dinner. What about sitting with the dates of the other Bridal Party members?
Post # 13
Sorry I guess I wasn’t quite clear in the post. My fiancé is at the head table with the bridal party. I don’t expect to be able to sit with him up there. The girlfriends of the other groomsmen are sitting together but with other people who are the grooms friends who they know. I thought that I would be placed at the table with my fiancés family. Instead they chose to place an aunt at the family table instead (she isn’t contributing anything to the wedding for those who suggested it). I just feel left out as I am marrying into the family less than a year from now and feel like I should be considered a family member by this point. I would never do that to one of my FSIL’s. Im not going to complain or say anything because it is their choice, just hurt by it to be honest.
Post # 14
Yeah, it sucks, but after your explanation, it makes sense. Sorry.
Post # 15
yeah that sucks. I am pro head table but you need to take great care to place the bridal party dates amongst people they know. Im assuming the aunt is the sibling of your DHs parents? I could see how they would defer to their siblings over their sons Fiance but it’s a shame they didn’t place you there or with people you know.