(Closed) FSIL/BM won’t use sitter? No kids at reception, no exceptions!

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you just have to speak up and make sure that it is understood that children are not welcome at your reception and be prepared if your Future Sister-In-Law does not attend because of that reason. If she needs to hear you say it, then bring it up nicely that you are excited to spend the day with the kids and also can’t wait for adult time as well. 

Post # 4
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Randy from SYTTD was here in Vancouver a couple of weeks ago. The line I liked the best was ” If you are mature enough to get married, you need to be mature enough to have the wedding you want.” Unfortunately, all too often, this involves standing up to family members.

Post # 5
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

@julies1949:  I really love that line!

I think that you’ll just have to take a deep breath and stand your ground. I think that you’re making it easy (and as comfortable) as possible for them and you’ve obviously put a lot of thought into it. Just make sure that you’re clear about the whole situation and don’t give in (:

Post # 6
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

If she just wants to hear you say it, I would try to get together with her AND your Fiance, and present it as a united front, that it really is no exceptions.  If that’s not possible, I guess you could phone her yourself.  I do feel like you’ve done everything to make it comfortable and convenient for it to happen.

Post # 7
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with the comments above.  Be firm and make sure she understands that either the kids can stay with the sitter or she can make alternative arrangements, but that they are not to attend the wedding.

Post # 8
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Any chance your Future Brother-In-Law could help you reason with her? 

Post # 10
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m TOTALLY on your side, but I have to admit that this is made even trickier by your decision to include the kids as your flowergirls. They’re essentially bridal party but you’re not allowing them to participate in the reception.  I can see how this would cause a problem with your Future Sister-In-Law since she doesn’t have the option to find a sitter for the whole event – she has to bring the girls to your wedding, then leave them with someone for the party.  I wouldn’t attend your reception either, but that’s the choice I’d make on my own. 


Stand your ground and see what her reaction is, but don’t push to have her attend the reception while her kids are off somewhere with a relative stranger.  Leave it up to her if she wants to do that or miss the reception altogether.

Post # 11
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@H2MrsDj:  Just tell her that it is YOUR wedding and no means no. Don’t present her with an ultimatum, just don’t budge. If she decides not to come to the reception then let her make that decision on her own. As a teacher I can empathise with how selfish people are over their children. 

The topic ‘FSIL/BM won’t use sitter? No kids at reception, no exceptions!’ is closed to new replies.

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