(Closed) FSILs and large wedding parties…what did you do?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Did you ask your FSILs as BMs, and how big was your bridal party?

    I don't have FSILs/SILs

    I have them but didn't ask them

    I asked them, and my bridal party was 4 or less

    I asked them, and my bridal party was 5 or more

  • Post # 17
    Member
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My DH has sisters.  I actually did not include them in my bridal party, because my DH also has two daughters and a DIL, all of whom I did ask to be members of my bridal party. I also asked my SIL (my brother’s wife) to be a bridesmaid.  Because DH and I made the decision to include so many family members in our wedding, we each were only able to have our three closest friends in our bridal party as well.  However, including family was very important to both of us.

    If you do decide to ask your Out of Town FSILs to be in your wedding, I don’t think you should necessarily expect  them to participate in (and especially not to contribute toward) your bachelorette party, although you certainly can ask your friends to include them among those being invited. It’s likely that they will want to help with your shower and will send you a shower gift; however, they may not be in a position to travel for or help fund something like a bachelorette event.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2059 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @PromiseRooster:  they were all his sisters. i had my cousin and 2 friends as bridesmaids; my husband had his cousin, one of his brothers, and a friend as groomsmen. my 2 brothers and my husband’s other brother were ushers.

    Post # 20
    Member
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Im pretty close with my Future Sister-In-Law, so I asked her, alone with my 2 sisters. I say its not required, but it is a nice gesture, especially if you consider them to be friends. Don’t worry that they’ll find it silly (but don’t have unrealistic expectations as to what their roles should be). 

     

    The other option, depending on how many groomsmen your Fiance has is to ask them to be on his side – they can still take part in bridesmaid activities too if they want. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    8700 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @PromiseRooster:  My SIL was 38 weeks pregnant at our wedding (and gave birth 4 days later!) She was surprised when I asked her, and definitely not excited about it, but she did, and she smiled the whole day!

    Post # 22
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have one Future Sister-In-Law.  I wasn’t ‘expected’ to ask her to be a bridesmaid (I don’t think anyway) but I asked because she’s my Fiance only sibling.  If he had two sisters, I wouldn’t have asked either unless I was close to one/them.  I have 6 girls in all.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2187 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am having three BMs – friends who have been with me through thick and thin. I have two FSILs and it never even occurred to me to ask them.

    Post # 24
    Member
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @PromiseRooster:  Yes. I ended up with two matrons of honor, four bridesmaids, and two junior bridesmaids, for a total of eight attendants (plus a flower girl.) DH had seven groomsmen and a junior groomsman, also for a total of eight (plus a ring bearer.)  I wouldn’t have wanted to have a larger bridal party, but I don’t think ours could have been any smaller, since we wanted to include all six of the kids, including DH’s four children and his DIL, and (now) son-in-law. 

    I only wish I somehow also could have incorporated my childhood best friend, who is still very dear to me, but there just didn’t seem to be a good way to do that at the time. I did have her upstairs with me prior to the ceremony, and I included her in some of our pictures, too.

    Post # 25
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I don’t have any FSILs (only FBILs), but I do have two sisters. Originally I wasn’t going to include them (we aren’t particularly close, and they don’t care one way or the other), and I had 5 girls picked out. Now, due to Future Mother-In-Law drama (yes, Future Mother-In-Law, not my own mother), I’m stuck having my sisters as well. I now have a party of 7, which is kind of a lot. Fiance will have 6 (possibly 7). But oh well. As long as you aren’t just having everyone included, I think it’s okay to have a larger party. And you’re having 120-150 guests, so it’s not like it’s 7 girls standing with you, and then only 30 people in the audience!

    If you want to include your FSILs, include them! But if you aren’t particularly close, and they’re older, I wouldn’t forgo having your girlfriends. Have either just your friends or both your friends and your FSILs.

    Post # 26
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    @PromiseRooster:   Fiance is an only child BUT if I had a fsil should would be asked no questions asked. My 2 sisters are in the bridal party and Fiance has asked my brother to be a gm.

    Post # 27
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Our wedding party was only siblings.  My sisters and DH’s sister.  DH’s brothers.  I’m really close with his sis, so it was a no brainer for me that she would be a part of it.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i had my husband’s sister in my bridal party, but not my husband’s sister-in-law (his brother’s wife)

    i had the latter read during the ceremony instead. if i had included her it would have made our “sides” uneven. she is also about 4 years older than all the other bridesmaids and we’re not especially close. we get along and all, and i was happy she could be a part of my day, but i don’t feel that our relationship was close enough for her to be a bridesmaid.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I asked my Future Sister-In-Law, and 5 girlfriends… so I have 6 bridesmaids.  FI asked his Brother-In-Law, my brother (his FBIL) and 4 friends.  I think it’s working out pretty well so far– Future Sister-In-Law and I have always gotten along but I always wished we could be closer.  She’s been really excited to jump into the planning and I know has been very involved in planning my bachelorette party this weekend… I thnk it’s safe to say that she has embraced the silliness!  I’m 31 and she’s in her late 30s.  

     

    I would say ask, I think it’s a great bonding opportunity.

    Post # 30
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My Future Sister-In-Law is my maid of honour, I really think it depends on if you get along with them well or not, I know my Future Sister-In-Law would never have her partners sister because to put it mildly she is not a nice person lol

    Post # 31
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m having my Future Sister-In-Law in my bridal party because I knew she’d want to plus the family would be happy since my sister is in it too. 

    i have a total of 7 bridesmaids and my fiancé has 10 groomsmen plus 2 ushers (he’s a people pleaser lol) 

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