(Closed) FSIL’s dress one of my colors?!?!

posted 12 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think I might remind her that one of your colors is burgandy, and she might be mistaken as a bridesmaid. If she still insists on wearing a burgandy dress, I’d just tell her you’d rather she not and would feel a little uncomfortable with her doing so.

Good Luck!

Post # 4
596 posts
Busy bee

If she’s wearing burgundy and the maids are wearing dark green, I don’t think she will be mistaken for a bridesmaid.  I think she probably just doesn’t want to clash horribly in the pictures by wearing a color that doesn’t match with your wedding colors.  You can always suggest another color that you think would be more appropriate.

Post # 5
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with emilee.  I think she isn’t really going to  look like a bridesmaid since they are wearing green.  Is her daugther the flower girl?  Maybe she wants to look nice in pictures if so.  DO you think she is trying wiggle her way to be part of the wedding party in some way?

I’m not saying you should put her in the wedding party, but I do think you should drop it to not look too demanding.  I think it could cause problems in the family.  I don’t know your FSIL’s temperment but she either didn’t do this on purpose and will get hurt feelings (and possibly think you are bridezilla(y) if you try to dictate color.  Or she is trying to look more like she’s in the wedding party, which means she is already disappointed for not being asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  And since the dress isn’t even the same color as the BMs, I don’t think it’ necessary to stir up already bad feelings.   And if she wants to be more a part of things, could you incorporate her by asking her to do a reading or something?  Then the burgundy will be really appropriate , and still won’t look like a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Also, it’s sounding like this might be a Christmas type wedding?  If so, I think it’s likely several people will want to wear either green or burgundy.  (Especially since women might already have dressy wintery clothes in Christmas colors.)

Post # 6
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with Tanya.  I don’t think anybody would mistake her for a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and if she’s family, you’re better off not stirring anything up by trying to dictate what color she wears.  It’s probably really not worth it. 

Post # 7
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think its a big deal at all. Maybe she wants to feel apart of the wedding when she wasn’t included. I think you should take in more consideraton your future relationshio with her than the color she wears, which in the long run will make no difference at all. 

Post # 8
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

What does your Fiance say about it? He may know his sister well enough to give you some advice on how to handle it.

Post # 9
278 posts
Helper bee

I don’t see a big deal with it at all either.  You can’t really tell someone not to wear a certain color because it’s your bm colors.  Does it really bother you that she is, though?

Post # 10
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I personally see it as a none issue.  It’s not uncommon for guest of the wedding to wear the colors of the wedding party just by pure coincidence and these guests are rarely mistaken as wedding party members for various reasons, including style, cut, and quality of the dress, flowers, hair and make-up etc.  However if it does bother you then address it an unbiased way. Good Luck!

Post # 11
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Eh, I don’t reall think it’s that big of a deal.  I agree with Emileee. 

My bridesmaids dresses were black – and a LOT of other people wore black to my wedding.  But none of them walked down the aisle, were with me all day and were photographed with me. 

Believe me, no one will mistake her for a bridesmaid and it’s not worth the hard feelings.

just my 2 pennies…

Post # 12
17 posts
  • Wedding: October 2020

I dont think its a big deal. as long as she not wearing the same dress as the BM’s just in the burgandy color… When my SO was in his best friends wedding he actulley asked me to look for a dress that had their wedding colors in it so it would match in pictures.. luckly their colors were light green so i got a white dress with blue flowers and green leaves, kinda tied it in there… but i really wouldnt make a huge deal of it i dont think..

Post # 13
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It may be that she’s trying to fit in with the wedding party, but in a good way — some of the brides on these boards actually ask their family members to coordinate with the wedding colors.  Maybe she thinks you’d prefer her to wear one of your wedding colors so she won’t clash in the photos.

Telling her she can’t wear burgundy because she’s not part of the wedding party seems a bit unkind.  I agree with the PP who said that your long-term relationship is much more important than whether or not people "mistake" her as being part of the wedding party (which I doubt they will).  I would just let this slide.

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