(Closed) FSIL’s wedding date

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry you’re so disappointed… is there a reason your Future Mother-In-Law wants a few months in between? I don’t know if you were wanting your help, but as of right now my Future Mother-In-Law hasn’t been involved in my planning, I’ve pretty much done everything on my own or with Fiance (by choice, I’m sure she’d help if I asked). Or are you relying on her to contribute to the cost? I could understand these reasons but if you’re planning and paying yourselves, maybe you could reason with Future Mother-In-Law that it wouldn’t matter how close together they are and you could do a September wedding?

ETA: I can’t believe I forgot to say Congrats on your engagement! Try to focus on that to bring your mood up πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would let your Fiance go ahead and talk to his mom too, and say that you’ve always wanted a fall wedding too, and just didn’t want to say anything before you’re engaged, and that it’s difficult because the two of you are excited to start planning but disappointed to alter your plans around his sister’s when you have wanted a fall wedding just as long and are engaged first.

I’m also curious what the reason is for wanting a few months between – is this for the benefit of Out of Town family, and if so are you planning on having a big wedding like his sister probably is? Or is it financially?

Post # 4
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ugh I’m sorry. πŸ™ These types of things really suck. At least you can talk it out with the hive! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

How close are you with the FSIL?  If you get along well, then maybe give her a call to chat about wedding plans and just tell her that you have been dreaming of a fall wedding for a very long time but that you wanted to let her know before you set anything in stone.  Then you can feel her out for whether she thinks its a big deal.  If you wanted to play extra nice about it, you could even ask her if she has a preference for which wedding comes first.  But I think a month or more in between the weddings is plenty of time.  If she is gracious about it, then Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t have a leg to stand on.  I think you should do what you want, but try to be diplomatic (but firm) about it with the family.

Post # 8
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Think about this, you can have a fall wedding feel, and get a lot of DIY stuff in the fall of 2012 on clearance! You buy it all early and have all winter DIY and by the time spring comes, your wedding is done and at half the cost.

Doesn’t matter the season you get married, if you want a fall wedding, have a fall wedding! I know, the trees and season aren’t the same, but you can make any day feel like any season you want.

You want orange, black and brown for you colors….score! Everything will be on sale and you can save tons of money and have the wedding of your dreams! πŸ™‚

I know you didn’t want answers, and I get it, just thought I would share the brighter side. 

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hello doll.  Miss Snowball has GREAT advice.

My suggestion, though, get married next fall.  When is her date?  My understanding is that traditionally it’s the BRIDE’s parents that do more of the planning.  Of course, there are exceptions, but my parent’s aren’t even paying and are still the ones helping us plan.  It’s because it’s the mother-daughter bond, usually.  His parents have input, and I’d love for them to contribute as much as possible.  But in my experience with myself and with others I’ve seen plan, the majority of the input was geared towards the bride’s own family.  So unless you are super close with your Future Mother-In-Law (in which case, can’t you explain to her that this is what you’ve always wanted), I’d say be sweet, considerate, plan a gap, but have yourself a fall wedding!  

Of course, if you just want a fall wedding to have a fall wedding, that’s different.  My advice more or less lies in the fact that you also want to have your anniversary in the fall.  Things like this were important to me.  Yeah, any date is great because it’s YOUR date, but I’m the type of person that wants to have a meaningful anniversary date.  With that being said, we wanted the June wedding because we have summer birthdays and it was important to us that we get that “season of celebration” feel since we grew up loving the summer.  Therefore, a June wedding and anniversary date was important.  So, if you could care less about the actual date, then I’d go with Miss Snowball.  If it’s important to you that your anniversary is Septemer-November (beautiful months, by the way), then go with it!  If she’s September, do November, and vice versa.  I say just plan at least a month in between.  If she’s October 15, do after Thanksgiving, great cheap things, as well.  

Things to consider. =)  Just remember, it is YOUR wedding day.  Yeah, family input is important, but if you’re going to regret your DATE and your season, you need to really do some re-evaluation.

Good luck! πŸ™‚

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