(Closed) "Fuck Off" fund. Do you have one?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

We do! But not for that reason… We have separate savings accounts because our joint is one of those high interest online ones. We both wanted money for just in case we needed money quicker than we could transfer out from that savings. 

Post # 32
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I do.  It’s an emergency fund.  It’s mine alone.  Every woman needs a fund for enough to rent an apartment.  You can say, Oh he would never….. or I would never…..

But you don’t know what he might do.

Been there, done that. 

Post # 33
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

Yes but I just call it “my own bank account”. We didn’t combine anything. 

Post # 34
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

leekissesme:  Well our bank accounts are separate, so I guess we’d be ready haha! We just never bother to have a joint account, as we met when we already had our “adult” jobs and property (his) and bank accounts in different banks. But we like it like that 🙂 Sure it’s a pain to do the budget every month, but this way, we also get to see where exactly our money is going. We don’t plan on changing that even if we got married almost 2 years ago.

Post # 35
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

Absolutely but we don’t call it that and we both know that they exist and how much money is in them.  I am a big believer in financial independence – been there, done that, and learned the hard way.  I make my own money, as does he.  We do have joint accounts but we also have personal accounts.  We also keep our respective family trusts independent and they always will be seperate.  Do what works for you and your FH.

Post # 36
Member
11577 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Monikax3x3:  I’m not sure you get how abusers work. They’re not terribly concerned with following the law. And to the point, if they can find the credit card number they can find the person who is using it. 

Post # 37
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

While I do have faith in my future marriage, I do plan on putting money aside “just in case”.  One of my friends recently divorced and her ex took EVERYTHING! House, cars, and even her dogs that she had before meeting/marrying him. She couldn’t afford a contested divorce so she was SOL. she literally had to sneak back in to grab her shoes/clothes. I don’t ever want to be in a similar situation. I want to be able to hit the ground if shit was ever to hit the fan. 

Post # 38
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My Fiance and I plan to set up joint accounts but also keep seperate ones. As an older couple we were fortunate to be able to come into the relationship with solid material and financial resources.  If for some reason our financial circumstances as a couple changed, neither one of us would think twice about using our individual resources to support our family unit. There’s no secret stash…but I wouldn’t  criticize a woman for having one as I heard that advice growing up.

Post # 39
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

 

 

BalletParker:    I’m not talking about the abuser I am talking about the credit card company.  

Post # 40
Member
11577 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Monikax3x3:  if you want to rely on the credit card company, be my guest. I am simply repeating what they tell battered women who need to leave. It is not safe to use a credit card. The end.

I’m not sure why this bothers you so much. 

Post # 41
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy

I have always had my own home, money and rental properties since I became established in my career. I think every woman on the planet needs to “have her own”, not as an “Eff You”, but to be a whole,independent, contributing partner in her own right and for her “team”. 

For women who marry earlier and/or have children, that may not be entirely possible, but they should save what they can for a “rainy day. In that case, a “mine, yours and ours” system could achieve that end. It should be done in transparency and honesty with your partner so everyone feels secure and nobody is staying because they “have to”. As gravies grandmother often told me, “Ain’t no dollar like your own dollar”…#Truth 

Post # 42
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

BalletParker:   What makes you think this bothers me?  That’s really not the point . 

Post # 43
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My ex called our bank on a joint account and reported my card “lost”.  Left me stranded without enough gas to get back home, and no way to check into a hotel.  This was after 15 years of marriage.  I didn’t think he’d do something like that but ask any divorce lawyer what normally nice people are capable of when they’re hurt.

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