(Closed) Full catholic mass wedding with some non Catholic guests?

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 16
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

jesuslover82 :  I am not catholic and I don’t like long masses. BUT it’s your wedding. So if I was your guest I’d simply ‘sit through it’ and put on a smile. It’s really not about the guests, but the couple. 

Post # 17
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Whirlwind03 :  you bring up a good point. Usually when something like this happens (the religious leader drones on and on about how their one true faith/ritual is the only valid one) guests talk about it under their breath and then it gets gleefully rehashed and/or mocked at during the reception but it’s never a reflection of the bride and groom and more focalized on the officiant/religious figure that gave the ‘speech’ ime. 

Post # 18
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not religious and I’ve sat through full masses before. You just do it because it’s important to the couple. Sure it’s slightly awkward at communion time but I guarantee not everyone will take communion. Do what you want and what’s important to you. Your sisters being ridiculous. 

Post # 19
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

I just had a wedding with a full Catholic mass. Lots of my guest aren’t religious. All three of my bridemaids and 2 groomsmen are devoted and passionate atheists. But they are all respectful adults and had absoultely no problem with it. They stood up, sat down etc. when everyone else did. They just didn;t do communion. 

Speaking of communion, not every catholic will do it anyway. You are supposed to do a sin confession first etc. and many people will not do it when it doesn’t feel right. My sister never does communion anymore because she is divorced and living in sin. So really, if people feel like they are standing out they are exagerating. I have never been to a mass where every single person took communion.

Your sister is exaggerating the issue and she is being disrespectful. 

 

Post # 20
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’m athiest but if any of my religious friends had a wedding at a church or mosque or synagogue, or whatever, I wouldn’t hesitate to go. I’d love to go and experience a different culture and tradition. I may feel awkward if the preacher starts talking about how their religion is the only true one, or that you must believe in a god, but those are just words and anyone who disagrees can just ignore it.

To many people religion is important to them and needs to play major part in their wedding, I can respect that, everyone should respect that. You can invite your guests and they can decline if they want, but who are they to dictate the traditions you want to adhere to? I believe the reception should have the comfort of guests in mind, but for the ceremony it’s important that the couple includes whatever they feel would make their marriage start off on the right path, and anyone that is against the couple’s traditions should sit silently, ignore it, or learn something new.

For our ceremony it will be completely secular, but I have family that is Roman Catholic, we wouldn’t fake our beliefs just to please the few.

Post # 21
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

jesuslover82 :  Plan the wedding you want and that will be meaningful to you (plural “you” — you and your fiance) and invite your loved ones. If they choose not to come, that’s on them. You’re inviting them to witness a special moment in your life, not trying to lure them to the dark side. Rational humans can “put up with” watching people take part in rituals* even if they themselves don’t believe in the ritual. If that’s too much for her, well, that says a lot about the kind of person she is.

* Harmless ones, like Communion, etc. Should go without saying, but…

Post # 22
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Newsflash to your sister…it’s YOUR wedding, not hers. It sounds like the Catholic faith means a lot to you and your Fiance, so your family should respect that. They should also remember that they are there for YOU. It’s not like you’re trying to convert them. They don’t even have to (and shouldn’t) partake in communion. Your sister doesn’t like the Catholic Church? That’s fine, she doesn’t have to have her wedding in one then. 

Post # 23
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was raised catholic but am now atheiest. I’ve gone to a few Catholic weddings but I just go through the motions while ignoring the mass part since I disagree with it. Do I love it? Heck no and it’s loooong but for someone I care about i suck it up and do it. My husband usually just hangs out in the bathroom during the mass part since he’s hardcore Athiest. Lol!

Post # 24
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

jesuslover82 :  I have attened a Catholic wedding with a full mass although I am not Catholic and it was very intersting to me. We didn’t kneel or anything but it was fine. It’s your wedding!

Post # 25
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I’ve been to many a catholic wedding, I just stayed seated during comunion. I didn’t feel awkward…

It’s your wedding, if the full catholic mass is important to you then do it. Your sister is being very childish, surely she can put her feelings aside & attend the mass for you, it’s one hour…on her sister’s wedding day!

Post # 26
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’m friends with a Catholic couple (and I am not Catholic), and when they got married they had a Mass in the church. I had no problem doing all the kneeling, and reciting and singing the hymns. The only thing I DIDN’T do was the taking of communion. But the priest announced that it was optional anyways. I was tempted to get up and do it (because I’d already done everything else and wanted the ‘full experience’) but I was sitting with my Father-In-Law (DH was in the wedding party) and he wasn’t comfortable doing it so he talked me out of it.

Post # 27
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I was raised in the Catholic church but am no longer Catholic though I am still a Christian. Many members of my extended family still are and I have on occassion joined them for Mass or for weddings and have unfortunately had to attend several Catholic funerals on our side. I dont mind the religious aspect of it at all. I can say Hail Mary’s and “Also with you” with the best of them. I have no problem sitting while others take Communion. My ONLY issue with attending Catholic anything (wedding funeral holiday mass) is not the religious differences, but that its a good 2 hours long a lot of the times. BUT for someone I love, whats 2 hours ya know. If thats what you want, people who love you will attend and bite their tongues and make the best of it. 

Post # 28
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Well, as much as to me (a nonreligious) person the idea of a Eucharist being a deal breaker for your sister seems absurd.. I step back and remember that for centuries, believing in the Eucharist or not  was cause for death (depending who was reigning at the time).  

Would I be super bored at a full catholic mass?  Yeah, I would.

Would I go to support someone I’m close to?  Yes, I would (and have).

Did it make me a tad uncomfortable at parts? (For me it was all the stuff about how a woman is a mans property and should serve him and her only purpose is to make babies.. this particular ceremony was very heavy with those messages.)  Sure it did.

Would I do it again?  Yes.  That day is not about me.

Oh and like other posters, me and the other people in my freinds group who are not Catholic (mostly athiest, I think one of us may be jewish-ish?) just stayed seated during communion.  NBD.

Post # 29
Member
227 posts
Helper bee

We went to our first Catholic wedding this year (I’ve been to a couple of Church of England weddings, which are almost as long but don’t usually involve communion). We are both atheists. We sat at the back of the church and listened attentively (it was all in German as well), smiled etc. When it came to some of the Catholic traditions we just respectfully sat them out.

I would never not go to a wedding just because it was a religious wedding. As long as the B&G didn’t want me to do anything religious.

Post # 30
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I am an atheist. I feel like I could catch fire just thinking about attending mass, especially a Catholic mass. But a lot of my family and friends are Catholic, and have attended several weddings in the church with a full mass – and I always go, because I love them more than I dislike going to church.

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