(Closed) Full disclosure: Are you hiding infidelity from your current SO?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you hiding infidelity from your current SO?

    Yes, but it was a one time mistake so I don't see the point in ruining our relationship.

    Yes, but SO has cheated on me too so I get a free pass.

    Yes, but I know SO would leave me so I'll never tell.

    Yes, but I don't want to deal with the fallout of confessing so I'll never tell.

    Yes, and I am a chronic cheater who hides it.

    Yes, and I justify hiding it for some other reason.

    No, I have cheated on current SO but SO knows about it.

    No, I have never cheated on my current SO.

  • Post # 47
    576 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve never cheated. But I have come close. I told him flat out when my eyes started to wander. It was hard to say that out loud. Really hard. And terrifying, even with me knowing he’d still love me, you’d never want to say something to hurt someone you love that much and could ruin how they trust you. 

    It was a wake up call though. We were both severely neglecting our relationship and being honest saved us. 

    I’d also second not wanting to know if its a one time thing that will never happen again. At that point telling me would just assuage him of guilt and cause me pain for something that can’t be undone but also wouldn’t happen again. 

    Post # 48
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Nope. I’m terrible at hiding anything from DH (for example, if I’m pissed off at him over something stupid and trying not to show it) so even if I did cheat, I wouldn’t be able to hide it.

    I’ve been cheated on and it was horrible, so I believe that if I was unhappy enough to consider infidelity, I’d leave rather than cheat. I could not forgive physical or emotional cheating by DH. I just think the trust would be completely gone and I’d be worried about it happening again every time he left the house.

    Post # 49
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’ve never cheated and neither has he. I know that it would be damn near impossible for me to get over something like that and I could never imagine hurting my fiance that way. 

    I used to say when we first started dating that if he even had an inkling that he’d rather be with someone else, to call me and dump me before cheating on me. 

    Post # 50
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @quierajen:  Cheating can happen within the first week of a relationship starting. This poll doesn’t distinguish between cheating on a long term relationship and cheating on a short term relationship (well, short term at the time of cheating). 

    Just thought that I would point that out. 

    Post # 51
    8573 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have never cheated on my fi, and if at some time I did, I wouldn’t hide it.

    We’ve had discussions about cheating, because let’s face it, MANY relationships reach a point where one or sometimes both parties cheat, whether emotionally or sexually. I’m not saying everyone cheats, but there’s a definant chance of it happening, maybe not at this current moment, but at some point in life. We discussed if we’d want to know, how much of the details, ect. The general idea for us is that IF something like this would happen, we would WANT to know and want to repair whatever was wrong in the relationship.

    The topic ‘Full disclosure: Are you hiding infidelity from your current SO?’ is closed to new replies.

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