Post # 1
I am a practicing Catholic and husband-to-be is a Christian that doesn’t really attend any church. He has agreed to a Catholic service and raising our children Catholic, which I am so appreciative of, but now there’s another snag… I REALLY want to have a full Nuptial Mass. I think having the Eucharist during my wedding ceremony would be so fulfilling and meaningful to me and those of my guests that are Catholic. We are looking at about 20 out of 50 guests that are Catholic– largely on “my” side of the guest list but a fair sprinkling throughout his (his best man, for example, and his wife etc.). Is it unreasonable of me to request a full Mass when I meet with the priest on Tuesday? I know he might push for just the Nuptial Rite, but like I said, I really would love to have the Eucharist as part of the ceremony. Thoughts/suggestions?
Post # 3
I think it’s fine to request it. I know several people who had a mixed-faith Catholic wedding who had the full Nuptial Mass. The particular parish we got married at had a policy against it because they considered it awkward if both the bride and groom couldn’t receive Communion. But you might as well ask and let them know it’s important to you! 🙂
Post # 4
I think it’s fine to request it, but every church is different and I know for ours, they will not do a full Mass if one person is not a confirmed Catholic. Just ask your priest to see what their rules are.
Post # 5
I’ve been to smaller weddings where both sides weren’t Catholic and they had communion.
My priest suggested that we not.
A wedding is about both parties of the couple coming together in union, and having communion where only one of them can receive doesn’t fully embrace that.
If it’s something you REALLY want you can probably find someone to do it, but I didn’t want Fiance or any of his family to feel left out of any traditions.
Post # 6
I’m Catholic and Fiance is non-Catholic, and we’re not even being given the choice to have a mass. In our Diocese, you automatically don’t get a full mass if you’re marrying a non-Catholic. Be prepared for that, just in case! 🙂
Post # 7
My (Catholic) sister married a Jewish man in a Catholic church. They had a full Catholic mass. Before communion, the priest just instructed all non-Catholics to approach him with their arms crossed over their chest to receive a blessing. Your priest should definitely not have an issue with doing the full mass.
Post # 8
I think that as long as your fiance is on board with having a full mass, then there is nothing wrong with that. I was on the other side of things, being the non-Catholic getting married in a Catholic church, so I would have felt really strange if we had a full mass with communion. I always feel awkward even when in regular church and I’m the only one not going up for communion, so on my wedding day I didn’t want to feel that way. I also thought it might be a bit awkward for my guests and family, since most of them aren’t religious at all. However, if your fiance is ok with it and your priest will allow it, then I say go for it.
Post # 9
Updates: I asked the priest when I was home for Christmas and he said it was really up to us and what we were comfortable with. Partner’s on the fence: understands my side, but doesn’t want to make his side (largely non-Catholic) uncomfortable. He’s speaking with the priest in a few weeks and they’ll talk more then– I’m thinking something like an announcemen that “We invite all non-Catholics to come up, arms crossed, to receive a special blessing” will help avoid the awkwardness of only 1/3 of the guests actually getting up from the pews.
Post # 10
It’s definitely allowed, but a lot of churches strongly suggest that you don’t (because the wedding is about the TWO of you, being unified as one, and it’s a little un-unifying if you can’t both participate).
My Darling Husband and I are both Catholic, but we decided not to have the full Mass because of our families. Almost all of my family/friends are Catholic, and my husband’s family is very religious (but all Episcopal or Methodist), and we didn’t want them to feel excluded. In the end, we were able to have a ceremony where everyone felt spiritual and welcome and was able to participate through the entire thing, and that meant the world to my husband.
It seems like people don’t actually do the arms-crossed blessing thing, even when the priest invites it. We just wanted to avoid a situation where half the church stood up, and half just sat there.
Post # 11
what will your husband be doing while communion is going on?
Post # 12
Just following up to say we decided to just go with the Nuptial Rite instead of a full Mass. I will likely go to Confession the evening before and receive the Eucharist the morning of along with my family. The last time I received three sacraments in one weekend was my Confirmation… excitedly looking forward to a weekend full of grace and the Spirit!
Post # 13
“Just following up to say we decided to just go with the Nuptial Rite instead of a full Mass. I will likely go to Confession the evening before and receive the Eucharist the morning of along with my family. The last time I received three sacraments in one weekend was my Confirmation… excitedly looking forward to a weekend full of grace and the Spirit!”
That’s a lovely thing to say! I’m glad you feel happy with your decision.
I have a similar issue, but the other way around, which I’ve posted another thread about (very long, and which you are not obligated to read, BTW!). I would love to go with the same solution, actually (but with Fiance and family doing the three sacraments, obviously), but Future Mother-In-Law is not keen…
Catholic/non-Catholic Christian Wedding Mass Issues (very long… but pls help!)
Post # 14
I am marrying a non-Catholic and we are having a full Mass. In the program, there will be wording to the effect that non-Catholics are welcome to come forward and receive a blessing from the priest (and he will also say that at that point in the Mass). We don’t have that many people that are attending who are Catholic, so it’s not going to take a long time. Fiance will be blessed and Fr. will give me Communion.