(Closed) Full or Partial Access

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Full or Partial Access
    Yes it is perfectly normal to have some access to all email, phones, computers, etc. : (39 votes)
    37 %
    No it is not right to have some access to all email, phones, computers, etc. : (7 votes)
    7 %
    We share everything so why wouldn't I/SO have access to everything? : (25 votes)
    24 %
    There is a thing called privacy for a reason.... : (28 votes)
    26 %
    Other, Please explain : (7 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Darling Husband knows my passwords and I know his, but we don’t use them unless specifically asked to (like, “I’m too damn lazy to get off the couch, check my email please?”) etc. Phones are sort of off-limits, other than in cases of convenience/laziness–for example, if Darling Husband gets a text and I’m closer to his phone, he’ll ask me to just read it to him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @Mrs Grape: same here, so I picked the last option on the poll…

    Post # 5
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I like having my privacy and I respect that he would like that too. I’ve told him my passwords before (which he promptly forgot, lol, so much for emergency access), but I don’t see that there’s any reason to have continuous access to those sorts of things unless you’re trying to cushion yourself from cheating. Maybe if you gave full access you’d feel less inclined to cheat? I don’t know.

    Post # 6
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We have each other’s passwords, but I don’t “check up” on him. I just have it in case I need to move money around or something like that. I always tell him first. it’s not a big deal to us. I think we’re somewhere in the middle. Some couples share facebook accounts and e-mail, which is fine, but we’re still separate people. It would be uncomfortable for his best friend to send Fiance a confidential e-mail if he knows i’ll be reading all about his business.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    We have each other’s passwords for everything and have access to phones and whatnot. But we don’t “investigate” each other. If we have a question, we ask. If someone posts on his facebook, i may casually ask how they know each other– but I do this for male and female, and just because I’m a curious critter. He doesn’t get annoyed; it’s just part of sharing. If I need an email in his inbox, I go and get it. But, I don’t “snoop.” If I feel the need, there’s a problem, and I talk to FH about it. Only happened a couple times. Key is for neither party to get upset about it… trust is being open with each other.

    Post # 9
    Member
    417 posts
    Helper bee

    I think he knows my password on my computer, but he never goes on it. I dont think I know his if I did know it I forgot it… I dont think I ever asked or ever had to get on his computer.  Neither one of us has a password on our phones but we rarely need to use eachothers phones anyway. Andd we dont have eachothers email passwords and never thought to ask for it.  haha… guess we like our privacy. Nothing to hide, just really never crossed my mind or needed to go on his email or computer and vice versa.

    Post # 10
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Mrs Grape: Same here.  We each have access to everything of each others (for emergencies and convience) but we don’t check up on each other or go through each others accounts.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We each have each other’s passwords to everything but we dont read each other’s emails or anything.

    Post # 12
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I have access to his phone whenevere he’s home because I play games on them. Technically if I wanted to snoop, I could, but I don’t. If there is a text came through on the phone I’d let him know. He would then ask me what the text says (if he’s busy) or respond to the text. As for pw to accounts, he knows my pw. I have a few pw i use so he would ask me which pw for the account he wants access to. when I need to access his account for something (rarely) he would give it to me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We know all of eachothers passwords etc. I suppose I could go through all of his things and vise versa if I really wanted to.. But I really dont feel the need and neither does he. I do like to know that information in case something happens though.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I let him use my computer(s) a lot of the time, but not so he can check up on me. I have a MacBook, a Windows desktop and a little Ubuntu lappy. He almost exclusively uses Linux, to the point where he loaded Ubuntu on the old MacBook I gave him. We both work in IT and he does development work on the side. Sometimes his Windows virtuals are unstable or he wants to test things on a Mac. I also have a couple of programs that I bought that he doesn’t have, so he’ll borrow my desktop to use Photoshop, DreamWeaver, Flash, etc. As long as I’m not using them he has free reign to use my machines and he always asks first. I rarely use his computers because I don’t really have reason to. I’ll occasionally connect to his desktop to stream a movie through the Xbox or something but that’s pretty much it.

    However, I don’t go through his files and he doesn’t go through mine. There’s no searching of internet history, creeping on emails or Facebook. Obviously the trust and openess are there to begin with, why break it by snooping?

    Post # 15
    Member
    3799 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I dont know his passwords and he does not know mine. If there ever was a time that something was suspected on either end, I’m sure the other would give up their right to privacy to clear the air. We haven’t had that issue, so no worries here.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    We don’t have access to each other’s passwords, and before the cheating threads I never considered sharing passwords. I would never ask him for passwords for his accounts except for if I needed to access something from them. I don’t think he would ever ask for mine either. It isn’t something we think we need to share.

    The topic ‘Full or Partial Access’ is closed to new replies.

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