Post # 32
As long as the bills can be paid, we’re pretty free to spend whatever. However, he doesn’t really have any interest to buy *anything*, so its not an issue. I’m the bigger spender, but will talk about big ticket items (over 200) just to discuss, but not really to ‘ask permission’. I’m naturally a saver also, so its not like I’ll go nuts either.
Post # 33
“one of hubbys buddies bought his wife a mercedes kompressor (sp??) as a surprise – it happens”
Yeah…it can happen…easier if that spouse gets to keep his/her own money that is not pooled. It also helps if a family does not maximize the house they are going to get based on income (i.e. get an even BIGGER house because you make more).
Post # 34
Just so you know, not everyone shares. I had an Italian pen pal who felt it would be improper to ask how much her husband makes. She said he paid the bills. She had no idea how much he made.
I had another friend who kept trying to figure out how much a guy she was dating made. She made a lot but she was trying to figure out how much he made without feeling inappropriate. It went on for a while and it was a running joke between us because she kept chickening out to ask. Finally he proposed and she still hadn’t figured it out. Eventually they went looking at houses and she came back and still didn’t know…lol Finally I told her…at this point you are just trying to figure out how much you can spend. You are clearly not a gold digger…you already said yes…lol So funny.
Post # 35
We have a joint saving/checking account, and seperate savings accounts. We put a certain amount into our bill account, and split the remaining amount – half goes to savings, and we split the other half.
As long as we have the money in our seperate account, it doesn’t matter what we spend it on. If it is something super large, that would require using savings (which hasn’t happened yet) we would probably need to discuss it.
Post # 36
Um… it kind of is a case by case basis. Technically I spent 20k without talking to him… Now, we HAD agreed I needed a new car, agreed on a type (small SUV either toyota, honda, or nissan), and agreed to a rough budget… but we said we’d wait until spring. I found a great deal on one and had about 4 hrs to make a decision. Fiance wasn’t answering his phone so I just went ahead and bought it. Dangerous precedent I guess, but Fiance wasn’t mad.
Overall though… I guess i’d say 100ish is the “limit”? But it really depends what it is. If Fiance stopped at the mall on the way home from work and picked up a couple new work clothes for $250 I wouldn’t care (work clothes = necessary). But if he went out and bought a $60 video game without mentioning it I might be a little peeved (games = not necessary).
Post # 37
We pool our money, and we let each other know what we need/want to buy. For me it’s usually coffee and for him its pop for work.
I’d say anything under 10$ doesn’t get discussed, but only if there’s any left after bills&food are paid. Anything over 10$ he lets me know so I can work it in the budget.
(Money is super tight because I’m a student & he works a crap job while going to school part-time for a better career.)
Post # 38
I don’t really pay attention to how much DH makes. I mean, I guess I have a ball park idea- but I really don’t know. He handles the finances, so he could easily purchase almost anything without my knowledge (that he could get his hands on/ afford).
Post # 39
We have such an odd situation, but so perfect for us. He takes some cash from each paycheck, and other than that, he asks me about everything. I am pretty much in charge of the acct, pay all the bills etc.. So he asks me if we have enough $ and I say yes or no. But we hardly make any single purchases over $50 unless it’s something important. $100 or over is considered a major purchase right now!
Post # 40
More like $200 or $300 than $100, but definitely less than $1000, so I picked $100.
Post # 41
That’s another intriguing option…lol Sometimes if someon is used to the freedom, he/she doesn’t necessarily want to lose it just because of getting married. Sure obligations will increase but if those bills can be covered, hey…
Post # 42
Yeah…I had no idea what would be popular. If I did it over I would add:
“anything over $50” and
“anything over $300”. There are a lot of things that can be purchased that are more than $100 but less than $300 so it makes a huge difference.
Post # 43
I said over 100, but it really depends. I mean, if Fiance goes to the grocery store, he buys what we need, he doesn’t call me and say hey the bill is 110, should I get rid of the bread and milk?
If it’s something frivolous, at any cost, then we talk about it. The exception is presents, of course.
Post # 44
You didn’t have on there that he has to ask me about EVERYTHING he buys. I’m the only one with a job right now so he has to ask for every little thing.
Post # 45
Singular objects over $100, yes. A shopping trip with items over $100? Probably not. We just transferred to a joint account so I am not sure how it will be working. He always asks me before spending any money, I never ask. We just discussed it (as I’m typing this) and he says its because I am the breadwinner so he expects me to spend the money but likes to check to see what we have budgetted before spending anything. Very very true, I am the Budget Queen.
Post # 46
My SO and I have a joint account into which we both equally contribute to cover the bills. Other than that our money stays in our own separate accounts… I really don’t see the need to combine it. Now OR after getting married. I buy whatever I want out of mine and he gets whatever he wants out of his… I think it’s a good way to avoid any conflict.
In the future, when we start saving up for big things like a house, we’ll probably both contribute to our savings account… but right now, I really don’t see a point in combining anything else. I guess maybe that’s because we both make close to the same amount of money… if one of us starts making a whole lot more than the other, things might change, I suppose.