(Closed) Fundraising Party?

posted 11 years ago in Parties
  • poll: what do you think of this idea

    its genius and i wish i had one thrown for me!

    its a bad idea

    i have heard of it but opted out of it

    other

  • Post # 69
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Wow, this thread has really taken off!  Just want to put my two cents in here as well.  I guess these sorts of things truly are regional.  I grew up in FL, but I’ve also spent time in NYC, Atlanta, and now Chicago.  I have never heard of this wedding fundraiser (but a lot of you are saying it’s origin may be Canadian to a degree).  I was also not aware of the dollar dance or the honeymoon registry before becoming a member of WB.  Personally, I would do neither.

    I’m not going to say I would be offended to receive an invite to such an event.  Nor will I say it’s tacky to hold one.  To each his own.  However, I am of the mindset that the bride and groom and/or their families pay for all wedding expenses save for guests travel/board (but wouldn’t that be a nice gesture in a perfect world).  I also have to assume that none of my family or friends have heard of this type of party since I’ve never come across one myself.  I might not be offended if I did, but I would certainly think it odd…

    Post # 70
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Some people really need to be a little more open-minded and not so quick to judge.

    I am from an area (South Western Ontario) where almost everyone has one. Actually, I can’t think of a friend/relative who hasn’t had one, but I may be forgetting someone. Our bridal party held a stag and doe for us. We didn’t ask for one-it was just a VERY nice and thoughtful thing for them to do. And we didn’t REQUIRE one to pay for our wedding either. So it wasn’t a matter of having one to fund our wedding.

    I have attended many stag and does as well but NOT because I felt obligated. I wasn’t “invited” either. I chose to find someone who was selling tickets, or chose to pay the $5 or $10 at the door the night of the party.

    I have even willingly (gasp) gone to parties for couple’s whose weddings I wasn’t even invited to. Its a great was to party with the happy couple. We all know how we sometimes have to limit the number of guests we have at our wedding. This way I can still celebrate with them, and let them know how happy I am for them. Personally, if I was out with a bunch of friends one night and was looking for something to do I might go to a stag and doe rather than to a bar etc. I like the fun atmosphere, playing games, dancing, and winning great prizes.

    Please, don’t be so quick to criticize. I see decorations, dresses, rings etc. and hear of parties and registries etc. on here everyday that are not my style, but that doesn’t mean they are wrong or tacky.

    Jimbert321 and brittsnead23…have a great time!!

     

    Post # 71
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I think my interpretation about what a Stag and Doe is was not really accurate – which is why I said what I did.  My understanding was that is was designed as a fundraiser sort of event, as opposed to a type of engagement party, which is what many people have said.  Is it fair to say the cost of tickets and such in a sense covers the cost of the party and then some?  I am sure if I grew up in an area where everyone has them and there is no second thought about it, I would have one too!  I guess it is just what each person is accustomed to. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I  have never been to and engagement party because they are not common around here, so I can’t say for sure. Personally, I was hoping that we would raise enough money to pay for the stag and doe, and if there was extra money leftover it was a bonus. You are right, its just what each person is accustomed to.

    Post # 73
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    it sounds like a horrible idea. if i could not afford a wedding, I would rather not have a wedding than have this pity party to offset the cost of the wedding.

    Post # 74
    Member
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @Lily2323: I am also from Winnipeg and grew up going to socials. Cubed meat, veggie platters and rye and gingers. Socials are where you dance with your cousins and drink under-age. 

    AHHH … now i see why people think they are ‘mortifying’. and i thought it was all in  good fun 😛

    Post # 75
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    HAHAHA! Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But as I said, we did NOT NEED it to pay for our wedding. And I can assure you, the 300plus people who came to our stag and doe did not come out of pity.

    Post # 76
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I have never heard of this.  However, I did have a friend that his to be wife decided instead of doing a registry that she would have people buy things to put on their wedding.  She created a website with dresses, flowers, and just about any other wedding item.  It was crazy tacky in my mind. 

    Post # 77
    Member
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @kelmac: I’m picking up what you are putting down. It’s so not a pity party!

    Post # 78
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    I suggest that everyone consider listening to those who actually have them since it’s part of their regional culture and we can better understand why they have them.  To me they sound like just a big party, you pay to get in and then you have a big party!

    Post # 79
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    View original reply
    @kelmac: Very well worded! I really don’t want to get into details about ours because people who don’t understand them are being rather rude about them. We did NOT need the money for our wedding. We did NOT plan/throw the party ourselves, it was thrown for us.

    We had no involvement in it at all other than showing up. We had a fabulous time seeing old friends and family and townspeople, people were happy to win door prizes, we played fun games, free food, etc. Entry tickets were $5 I believe and everyone came and had a good free meal and some people left with a gift.

    For us it was sort of like a family potluck gathering with funny games and good food. It was really important to my Mother-In-Law to plan one for us because I’m not from the area, and she wanted to make sure I could meet everyone.  

    I have never heard of engagement parties before I started planning our wedding, and I have never attended one. I personally don’t understand them, but I’m not about to blast Bees who have had one either!

    Post # 80
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    @kelmac – right on! 🙂

     

    Post # 81
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @ Mollytov:  I got all excited when you said cubed meat and veggie platters!  I think that one of the things that I am looking forward to the most at our social is the night lunch! Ha ha! After drinking and dancing for a few hours pickels and chesses is awesome!

    And it’s awesome to see another Manitoba bride!!

    Post # 82
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m from Southern Ontario and, although Stag and Does/Jack and Jills/Buck and Does are popular among certain communities, I have never been to one nor will I ever attend one (I can’t stand the idea behind them).

    I don’t think they can be generalized as a Canadian or even Ontarian thing. I was born and raised in Southern Ontario and had honestly not heard of these until I started working after grad school and I met friends from some more rural communities where these seem to be much more popular.

    What really ticks me off about these, is that I’ve been invited to a couple when I haven’t even been invited to the wedding…so it says to me that you’ll take my money to pay fo your wedding/honeymoon/down payment, but that I’m not actually good enough to attend your wedding. Yeah, not cool.

     

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