Post # 17
I’m from Canada and I’ve only ever heard of one couple that I don’t even personally know doing this. I would be completely against this idea if anyone wanted to throw one of these for me. I would also be highly offended if I were invited to one of these, especially if I had to contribute to a wedding+shower gift, and a bachelorette party. Most of the weddings I’ve gone to lately have been costing me several hundred dollars. Like Moose1209 says, if you can’t afford a wedding, don’t have one.
Post # 18
@FutureKMM – umm, maybe I’ve just missed it, but I’ve re-read OP’s first post three times now, and I do not see anywhere where she/he has indicated in any way that they will be having this type of party. It sounds like she/he was asking other posters if they had heard of it. And for the record, I don’t see where she/he mentions where they think it’s “just awesome” for others to fund their wedding, either.
Post # 19
More power to them if that is something that is widely accepted! I feel really uncomfortable about asking for money in any way. I’m from Northern California, and almost every single wedding I have ever been to has a dollar dance, and it STILL makes me feel so strange!
I just can’t help imagine us doing one at our wedding, and having everyone standing around like, “I’m not gonna give you any more money!” But I am having a small destination wedding, so people are already going through a huge expense just to come!
Post # 20
I live in Canada and jack n jills are popular in my area and I don’t like them and never attend them!
I would not call them a right of passage because they are not. They originated in rural communities where the community would come together to have a fun and night and support the bride and groom. Now they have shifted to urban centers and they have taken on a life of their own. From my experience these brides still have showers and bachelorette parties and it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth and I find them distasteful!
If jack n jills are NOT common in your group of friends I would not go ahead and plan one.
Post # 21
It’s pretty well implied by the poll about whether or not its a good idea that the OP is interested in having such an event. And if you are not from a culture where this is common (which the OP has made apparent she isn’t), then the only reason you’d hold one is because you think it’d be great to get others to fund your wedding. If those weren’t your thoughts, you’d just hold an engagement party.
Post # 22
hahaha yuppp i definitely didnt say i was having one. ever. obviously its not my culture and my poll was made because i thought i was missing something, i didnt realize until i posted this was a “canadian thing” (hence my entire reason for posting – to gain info) stop jumping all over ppl and putting words and “indications” in my mouth
i don’t give people baby shower gifts because it’s not my problem…. if they can’t afford a baby, they shouldn’t have one. i don’t give gifts at housewarming parties, either. if they can’t afford things to outfit their house in, they shouldn’t have a house. oh and also, i don’t give wedding gifts either…. if the bride & groom cant afford to buy themselves things or get themselves gift cards they don’t deserve to get married
Post # 23
I’m a little afraid to tell the Bee that my in-laws threw us a Jack and Jill party as it’s custom where Fiance is from. Some people have some pretty nasty remarks about something that seems to be common in specific communitites. I had never heard of one previously (I’m not from anywhere close to that area) but his parents were thrilled to have the opportunity to throw us one and insisted on it.
We had a great time, there were some fun games. Most of the people who attended are unable to attend the wedding due to various reasons, mostly being elderly and the trip would be exhausting for them.
Post # 24
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
If it’s not something that happens in your area or social circle, I would not do it.
Post # 25
@Future Mrs. Martin – I just read that you are from London. One of the best Buck & Does I ever experienced was in Lucan. Too funny!
Post # 26
Please don’t say they’re acceptable in Canada. They are acceptable is SOME parts of Canada, but definitely not everywhere. I like to make that clear because they are certainly not the norm or tasteful in any area I’ve ever lived in!! 🙂
I really think these are in poor taste. A lot of the time people who aren’t even invited to the wedding are invited to these parties. I just personally think that if you can’t afford a wedding, don’t have one.
Post # 27
I disagree with your comment “if the bride & groom cant afford to buy themselves things or get themselves gift cards they don’t deserve to get married
“. Marriage is not about the gifts and what a couple can afford. Why shouldn’t two people who love each other and want to make a commitment to each other deserve to get married?
Post # 28
I went to one a few years ago. It was in place of a shower or a bachelor/bachelorette party but it was still really strange to me. It was for my husband’s brother. And I couldn’t believe that I was actually obligated to go, and had to pay $20 at the door. I understand why they did it, the money went toward their honeymoon, it was just odd to me. Especially considering that their parents were paying for the wedding, not them.
Post # 29
It would be moritfying for ME, because it’s not my culture. I don’t see how that’s insulting. I have no business receiving a party like that, I think! Now, if i was part of a culture that participated in wedding events like these, or if my husband was Canadian (from some parts of canada, haha), i’d probably think they were the best thing since sliced bread!
I have never been to a wedding with a dollar dance, either. They are nonexistant with our friends and family.
(Ottawabride, ok SOME parts =]. The only people i’ve ever read on the board talking about these Jack and Jills are canadian. I guess it’s not as commonpractice as I thought!)
Post # 30
I think she was being ironic to make a point, that it isn’t that weird to throw parties that are in part about giving gifts.
Post # 31
@ritsi bitsi…..I think she was just being sarcastic to make a point. At least that is how I took it. LOL…..