(Closed) Funeral and Wedding on same day? Which would you go to?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: I would attend..
    The wedding ceremony : (30 votes)
    14 %
    The funeral : (39 votes)
    18 %
    I would attend the funeral then attend the reception after : (139 votes)
    66 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    this actually happened to my new husbands Brother-In-Law for our wedding. his grandmother passed away a few days before our wedding and the funeral was the day of our wedding. he missed our rehearsal dinner to go to the calling hours and went to the funeral instead of coming the the wedding then made a brief appearance for about the last 2 hours of our reception. granted it was different, it was a family member, not a friend, so we completely understood

    Post # 4
    4366 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I say attend the funeral and the reception after.  It will be the last time you can say “goodbye” to someone who’s died but you can always see you married friends again

    Post # 5
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Something similar actually happened to us — I was a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding, and my husband’s grandfather passed away a few days before. The funeral ended up scheduled for the morning of the wedding, but the two events were halfway across the country from each other, so we had to either pick one or the other or split up so that he could go to the funeral and I go to the wedding. His family encouraged us both to go to the wedding, saying that his grandfather would have wanted us to be celebrating our friends rather than mourning him. So we ended up going to the wedding and quietly toasting his memory. It was a tough decision, but I think it was the right one for us in the end.

    Post # 6
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If they were close by, I would go to the funeral and then the reception. If that wasn’t possible, I’d go to the calling hours for the funeral and then the wedding. If that wasn’t possible, I’d be torn. It would depend on howmuch I needed to say goodbye and support B’s family vs. celebrate with A.

    Post # 7
    1598 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Wow, that would be horrible.

    I would probably go to a viewing at the funeral home and then to the wedding. If there was no viewing, I’d probably make an appearance at the funeral service and then go to the wedding reception.

    Talk about an emotional day. Reminds me of when my grandfather died the same week I graduated from high school. My party was, like, the day before the funeral. People would come up to me with cards and smiles and hug me and say “congratulations!” and then give me a sad face and say “I’m so sorry about your grandfather.” 

    It was horrible.







    Post # 8
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    If my friend died, I wouldn’t be in any mood to celebrate someone’s wedding. I would be hurting for my friend.

    Post # 9
    4375 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @cerenatee:  I was thinkin along these lines, too. I if I was close the person who died, I would have trouble putting on a happy face for the wedding. I doubt my friend getting married would want me bursting into tears randomly throughout the night.

    I might be able to swing the wedding if it was expected (long illness, sick & elderly, etc.), and it was more of a casual friend – but someone close to me? I’d want to try to do both, but probably be better off skipping the wedding.

    Post # 10
    5543 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Personally, I hate funerals. This person who I loved isnt in the casket, just a body is. I want to remember the happy times not a funeral. So I would go to the wedding. 

    Post # 11
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    The wedding. I don’t attend a funeral unless my absence will result in WWIII. I don;t deal well with grief in a public forum.  I say my peace in private, thanks.

    Honestly, the dead will neither know nor care if you are not there. But the friend who is still alive…. she’ll know and she’ll care that you were not there.

    Post # 12
    14659 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I voted funeral then wedding.  But if I had to pick only one, I’d go to the wedding.  I do not have to be at a funeral to mourn my friend, and I will certainly not forget them after that day.  But unfortunately, going to the funeral does not change anything with that friend who has passed.  I would celebrate with my friend who is still here and getting married.

    Post # 13
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’d do funeral and then reception party for the wedding. To me the boring part at a wedding is the ceremony so I would not mind skipping that. The bride and groom probably wouldn’t even notice your absence, but you do have a good excuse so I would tell them my plan. The RSVP matters for the reception only usually, and that’s the fun thing so I would definitely not want to miss that. 

    Post # 14
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This actually happened to me in 2008! My grandma had passed away and the funeral was set for the following Saturday and I had months before said yes to be in my friends wedding. I went to the funeral in the morning and left immediately after to get to church then the reception. My family members that were invited attending the entire funeral then came to the reception later that evening. It’s an unfortunate situation but you should try to make the best of both. 

    Post # 15
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I would go to the wedding, its not like the deceased is going to know….and as harsh as that sounds, I have my own ways of saying goodbye to someone.

    Post # 16
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would definately chose to go to the funeral and the wedding reception.

    The only exception I would make is if I was actually part of the wedding.


    The topic ‘Funeral and Wedding on same day? Which would you go to?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors