Post # 17
- Wedding: November 2016 - Highfield House, Stanley, Tasmania
Posting it on Facebook is a bit off, but I don’t know how having pictures of a deceased family member is disrespectful. I know a lot of people who have pictures of loved ones in their coffins, and it was very common in the past. I used to think it was disturbing and wrong until my great aunt and best friend passed away after a prolonged illness following a stroke. She looked much more like herself resting peacefully in her casket than she did lying in a hospital bed, wasting away. I would much rather my last image of her as she was in her casket (at rest) than how she was during her last days (attached to machines, struggling for breath). I don’t have pictures of her, but I can certainly understand why one would wish to have those photos. Posting on Facebook just seems wrong however. Death is such a personal thing and others may find it wrong
ETA: In the 19th and early 20th century memorial photography was very common. I have seen a few, and they brought tears to my eyes. Also common was hair art and jewellery containing the hair of the deceased. Some believe that to be morbid or gross, but I think it is touching
Post # 18
@Daizy914: I find photos of the deceased a bit tasteless, but otherwise I don’t have a problem with it. I never like the idea of telling people how to grieve.
Post # 19
@Daizy914: We shared some pictures on Facebook. Not closeups or anything, but several of the ceremony, burial, etc. Our family is from all over. It was a way to share that with those who couldn’t make it.
Post # 20
When my brother in law was killed in a car accident we took photos at his funeral. But we have family in Europe and a lot of his close family was not able to make it so we sent them photos. It’s not a cultural thing it was just for them to have since they were not able to be there. But they were never posted on Facebook or anywhere. Also, he was 27 when he died, has children who at they time were too young to understand. I think that one day it will be nice for them to have the photos. But again this is for private family use only. Posting on social media sites is not cool. Someone on my wall recently posted photos from a funeral at the cemetery with the casket already closed and I thought that was strange.
Post # 22
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
I have many pictures of my dad’s funeral from just this past November, but I wouldn’t post it on Facebook. He was smiling in his coffin.
It’s not something I would share over Facebook. If you wanted to see pictures of the funeral, you’d have to come visit me to see it. I’d share a scanned copy of the obituary, maybe. Closure is only for people who knew my dad personally.
Post # 24
No. My mom wanted a closed casket, she said it would creep her out thinking about people just standing looking at her. I agree, and if I posted them on FB…. she would have found a way to come back from beyond and haunt me.
Post # 25
But if it’s a part of their culture to celebrate the deceased, even in death, it’s not disrespectful to post the pictures. You may not like it, but thankfully for you it’s not your Facebook or your family, and thankfully for them you aren’t the Facebook police.
Post # 26
I’m sorry I would unfriend that person lol! I would freak out, hide the posts from my timeline, and freak out some more. I don’t even go to funerals unless it’s super important because it just FREAKS ME OUT. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t unfriend them, I’d just hide their future posts LOL.
Post # 27
My Fiance has family overseas, and years ago one of them died. Not everyone could make it to the funeral, so they filmed it and sent it home. Complete with shots of the grieving family saying goodbye… To me, it seems bizarre. But to them, it was the only realy way that certain members of their family would get closure. Thankfully, Fiance and his brother aren’t uploading that tape to YouTube as they’re doing with so many others.
Post # 28
My exH had a coworker that lost his baby when his wife was 37 weeks along. The entire office went to the funeral but the coworker had FIVE photos of the baby in the casket at his cubicle. It was sooo sad….I can guarantee if FB had been around back then, they would have put the photos up.
Post # 29
It can be a cultural thing and dictating how people can/can’t grieve a loss is not up to those who are not related to the person who passed. I would not want to see it on my newsfeed so I would just click the little x or whatever. Now if it was posted by a guest….yeah. Not right. In some Native American tribes people “hang out” with the deceased and touching the body is not as taboo. i have seen some NA people doing this on fb.
So I get why it seems weird to people who aren’t used to it. But let’s not be stuck on our own worldview! Learn and be open to broaden perspectives. Doesn’t mean you have to like it or join in 🙂