Post # 1
Backstory: J is proposing by the end of the year. He also originally said we should get married in September, 2012.
Since I’d prefer a year to plan (and venues in DC/MD book up FAST), I wondered why he hadn’t yet. All was revealed today.
“Well, I haven’t found the perfect stone yet. Every time the wholesaler gets one in that meets my criteria, it sells before I can put a hold on it. But I check it every day and they get diamonds in regularly. Then it’ll be another 2 weeks for the setting, certification, engraving, etc.”
Our engagement is at the mercy of James Allen Diamonds. Womp Womp.
Post # 3
Haha, so sorry that you are having to wait but that is so sweet that he is checking every day and wants so badly to get you a nice stone. We had a timeline to get married summer of 2012 and as a year was approaching I got very anxious too, so I feel your pain (luckily he proposed a little over a year out). I’m sure the proposal will come soon and that the ring will be well worth the wait!
Post # 4
Well if both of you are 100% sure this is the only thing holding off the engagement. Do NOT feel bad about calling people and getting quotes and visiting venues. Maybe not putting down deposits but make venue owners aware of your date. Most people will mentally hold your date if they know you will come back. Our venue held our date w/o a deposit for 30 days. So try it you’ll never know. I got my ring in April but started getting quotes from vendors back in January. The ring just makes everything formal.
Post # 5
I don’t want to call venues yet- J just sprung on me that we can get married Spring 2012 if I want. We have to have a lot of discussions about Fall vs Spring, 11 months planning vs 8. Also, some of the venues have a huge price spike after 75 guests, so I really need to work out a guest list before we start calling venues.
Still.. COME ON JAMES ALLEN!!
Post # 6
While I’m a HUGE fan of James Allen, doesn’t your SO realize that they are certainly not the only place that he can find a quality diamond? Has he looked at any brick and mortar stores? The JA website shows stones under crazy high magnification, and it might not be necessary to have such high standards. There are also plenty of local jewelers who can certainly help find the perfect stone at a great price, whatever the specs and budget may be.
As a person who knows and adores diamonds, I can certainly appreciate his dedication and understand the desire to find the perfect stone. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that JA finds him a stone soon. . .REALLY soon so that you can officially start planning!
P.S. I can understand your frustration and can definitely see how this can make your planning situation extremely difficult, BUT I do think it’s incredible sweet that your SO is going to such great lengths to propose with the perfect ring! Once again, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you guys!
Post # 7
I can get finding the perfect stone. When I first found a ring that I LOVED I sent it to my guy without thinking twice about the quality. It was beautiful. Fast forward a couple months and some googling, I totally changed my mind. Not on the style, but the ring because of the stone that was included. I would die if my guy spent that kind of money and got a crap product in exchange. If that was the option I’d rather not have an engagement ring. It’s a lot of money.
He probably just wants the best of the best for his lady 🙂 I know it’s annoying that it’s dragging things out longer but I’m sure it’ll pay off in the end. Can’t wait to see what he chooses. 🙂
Post # 8
I told him he could propose with a cubic or a gemstone ring I’d been eyeing at Jared’s and he looked at me like .. well.. like I said diamonds don’t matter. I swear, the ring is more for him than for me.
As for looking at other stores, he has. We actualy live right by the brick-and-mortar James Allen in Maryland. He’s looked at other local diamond wholesalers but he insists he’s only going with places that carry GIA certified, and I like that James Allen sells conflict free diamonds. Oh and all of the stores like Kay, Jared’s, Charelston Alexander, etc in our area have diamonds with the same 4C’s but are $1-3K more. Lame.
We’ve got a long drive this weekend. I think I’ll ask him about doing a preliminary guest list. =]
Post # 9
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there is no such thing as conflict-free diamonds. Perceived value is affected by the demand for something. If you buy a diamond, any diamond, you are adding to demand for diamonds and thus adding to their perceived value. It is this perceived value that motivates conflicts, sadly.
Post # 10
Of course, any form of inflated demand will cause people to do horrible things to obtain them, be it diamond or other perceived valuable object. Still, James Allen does everything possible short of not selling diamonds.. this is their promise: http://www.jamesallen.com/conflict_free.html
An excerpt: Conflict-free diamonds are those gems which were not obtained due to human rights abuses, child labor, violence, or environmental degradation. Although the U.N.’s Kimberly Process only covers diamonds under the control of legitimate and recognized governments, conflict-free goes one step further by rejecting diamonds from governments that trade in diamonds to bankroll their conflicts.
I understand where you’re coming from and respect your opinion. I’m glad that we’re deciding to not directly support the nastier aspects of the industry, but I’m sure that in some way, it’s not going to be ideal.
Post # 11
Background story is my (now) Fiance is Indian and their wedding festivities take 2-3 days; therefore, most of his Indian friends choose a wedding date during a long weekend.
With that respect, back then my FI’s excuse for not proposing was because all of his friends took all the long weekends.
Post # 12
Totally agree. Just making sure you know what you’re buying into, and you clearly do, as you know it isn’t exactly perfect.
Post # 13
Oh my god you win for worst waiting reason. I understand waiting for good reasons: financial security, finishing school, too young, cold feet, etc…. but Labor Day??? that’s a new one for me.
Post # 14
i have got a good one. SO has had the ring since the beginning of august! (its a family heirloom from my side of the family)
his excuse is that our families have messed up all fo his ideas and now he is going to wait until we are away form all of them to do it….which coincidentally we are going to be in CA at the end of next month for Blizzcon (gaming convention)
also he has dropped hints in the “wouldnt it be cool if…) way for propsing while actually AT the convention. not out a dinner or anything but like standing in line to ask developers questions type thing. i thinks its hillarious for the sheer geekiness factor but i still think its kinda cute. he thinks that if he does it that way it would end up on the live broadcast feed.
so yeah SO is waiting for us to go to blizzcon to propose.
Post # 15
first off, props to Blizzcon! Also your SO sounds like a total stud for thinking that would be a great time to propose. Mine isn’t so much waiting to propose (pretty much done that already), but is waiting to save up enough money for the “perfect” ring. No Blizzcon for me though – unlike yours truly, dude’s not a gamer.
Post # 16
@Mrs B to be:
dont get me wrong he has totally got me addicted to playing WoW and im stoked about going to blizzcon but the first thought is wow thats nerdy.. and then aww thats cute. i just tihnks its a funny thing to be waiting for. most guys dont even think of that sort of stuff from what i have seen. most go the romantic dinner, walk on the beach, sappy stuff or they go the at home, family dinner type route